Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/IPad/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Ucucha 19:41, 20 January 2012 [1].

IPad edit

IPad (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

Toolbox
Nominator(s): -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 14:58, 1 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because it has been a GA since June 2010 and has improved further since then and seems ready for the next stage now. Thanks in advance for your comments. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 14:58, 1 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Copyscape search – The Lead might need revising slightly to avoid close paraphrasing with content on this website, [2] which has, "The iPad is particularly marketed as a platform for audio and visual media such as books, periodicals, movies, music, and games, as well as web content. At about 1.5 pounds (680 grams), its size and weight are between those of most contemporary smartphones and laptop computers. Apple sold 3 million of the devices in 80 days after the release." There is also some duplicated content here [3], which is not a concern because although the text is not attributed to Wikipedia, it contains the same internal links and has clearly been copied from our article. Graham Colm (talk) 16:44, 1 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

From the first link if you expand it "This page has been adapted from the Wikipedia entry of December 9, 2010." - that said I don't think they've done a particularly good job of attributing the content. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 16:54, 1 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Yes, sorry I missed the small print. Best of luck with the rest of the FAC. Graham Colm (talk) 16:59, 1 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
No problem - I missed it too at first :). -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 17:41, 1 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Inclined to oppose, sorry. Sampling the "usage" section, there are quite a few problems. Generally, the section is very choppy, jumping from random factoids to unsourced general statements about the uses to which the Ipad can be put. Some specific issues:
  • Many colleges and universities have also used the iPad. Source? How do they use it?
  • Youngstown State University in Youngstown, Ohio, began offering three-hour rentals for the iPad for its Fall 2010 semester, in addition to rentals for the Amazon Kindle, laptop computers, and Flip cameras. Why is one university significant enough to be mentioned? The source cited is not independent, so it's not like this is an obviously notable factoid that's been picked up in the news.
    • Removed the superfluous content - leaving the bit about the iPad itself as some content along those lines seems worthwhile - although it needs rewording. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 15:33, 2 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the healthcare field, iPads and iPhones have been used to help hospitals manage their supply chain. Source? The only source for this paragraph looks spammy.[4]
  • During the 2010 Major League Baseball free agent season, the agent for the player Carl Crawford was sending iPads to prospective teams interested in Mr. Crawford. Significance? "Mr Crawford"?
  • "NFL" is wikilinked twice in one paragraph and never spelt out. Our readers aren't not all Americans.
  • In sports, new technology proposes the viewer to choose its alternative angles while watching the game. ??
  • The iPad is able to support many music creation applications in addition to the iTunes music playback software. These include sound samplers, guitar and voice effects processors, sequencers for synthesized sounds and sampled loops, virtual synthesizers and drum machines, theremin-style and other touch responsive instruments, drum pads and many more. Source? These two sentences read like an ad.
    • I'm pretty sure this is true, I'll look for a source/do a rewrite. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 15:28, 2 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • During 2011 the iPad has shown popularity among the protestors in the December 2011 political protests in Russia. (1) Tense problems "has shown"; (2) convoluted wording; (3) what's the significance? Were the protesters using the Ipad to help their cause, or just playing video games? --Mkativerata (talk) 23:20, 1 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • Removed, thinking about it again it seems pretty superfluous. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 15:28, 2 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - I commend the work that's gone into this article, but I don't feel it currently meets the FA criteria. Here are some specific concerns:

  • Too many citations in the lead - per WP:LEAD, most of this material should instead be cited in the article body
  • {{deadlink}} and {{cn}} need to be addressed
    • I thought I'd fixed the deadlinks yesterday, but they seem to have come back from the dead! Re-fixed. The citation needed on the discontinued date has been backed up by the announcement of the next model. Will that do? -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 20:13, 2 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Very short paragraphs and subsections break up the flow of text
    • Other than the 'Recognition' section this is fixed. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 20:25, 5 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Citation formatting should be more consistent - for example current FN 147
  • There's a redlinked image - has it been deleted, or is the name incorrect?
  • File:1stGen-iPad-HomeScreen.jpg needs to identify the copyright holder
  • File:IPad_in_Case.jpg: what is the copyright status of the onscreen image?
    • Switched to a new picture with no on-screen image. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 18:22, 15 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • WP:MOS issues - overlinking, bracketed ellipses, etc
  • Use of sources of questionable reliability, for example ifixit and macrumors. Nikkimaria (talk) 18:36, 2 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    • With the sources, ifixit has been used by CNN, BBC and the New York Times. I think that makes them reliable. With the other issues I'll take a look. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 19:03, 2 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
      • Sorry, but in this case I don't agree. The site's description is "the repair manual you can edit", making it analogous to a wiki. Wikipedia itself has also been cited by the press (see study), but that doesn't make it a reliable source. Do you have another argument to support ifixit? Nikkimaria (talk) 19:32, 2 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
        • I'll have a think - I didn't think it was user editable. I may well be able to use another source which will save the bother. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 20:13, 2 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comment - Don't mix % and percent. P. S. Burton (talk) 13:07, 4 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 21:57, 4 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I will try and have a good look through the more difficult issues tomorrow, but otherwise I am busy this weekend so won't be able to take a look then :(. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 21:01, 4 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • I did a double-take at the initial cap here; glad to see the article title doesn't do it.
  • "a line of tablet computers". Is there a more recognisable word than "line"? I had to think for a second to work it out right at the start.
  • Is all of the boldface necessary in the infobox (which is rather long, partly because new lines are taken so generously; the infobox is also rather wide).
  • What does this mean? "Released November 10, 2011; 2 months ago".
  • MOSNUM says to use the leading zero (.34, etc). I think it should be "0.50", too.
  • "which can connect to HSPA or EV-DO data networks and on to the Internet." I'm wondering about the "and on to the".
  • "a homage", surely, not "an homage".
  • "3" wraps to "million" at my width. Possibly a non-breaking space?
  • "the iPad officially launched in China"—it launched what?
  • Try to avoid with + noun + -ing: "The device was initially popular with 300,000 iPads being sold on their first day of availability." ... why not just "The device was initially popular: 300,000 were sold on their first day of availability." Or you could drop the slightly obvious first clause.
  • "By May 3, 2010, Apple had sold a million iPads,[50] this was in half the time it took Apple to sell the same number of original iPhones." This is a comma splice.
  • "first generation iPads"—hyphen required.
  • "It includes front and back cameras"—"It" doesn't back-refer to "dual core Apple A5", I think.
  • "United States, as well as to United States"—could the second US be "American"?
  • PS, MOSNUM says to space the multiplication sign: "243×190×13.4 mm".
    • Are you sure about this? Its currently done using a template Template:convert/3, so I'd have to ask for the template to be changed if this is the case, but WP:MOSNUM seems a little unclear. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 19:36, 15 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

That's up to where I've read thus far. Tony (talk) 10:28, 12 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose sorry for doing this, but I feel there are several outstanding issues. --Sp33dyphil ©hatontributions 06:37, 14 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]

  • Please check the titles of FN 15 and 38 for capitalisation and consistency.
  • FN 80 is dead.
    • Removed, looking at other sources it doesn't appear to be true. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 19:52, 19 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please check the ordering of authors' names for consistency ("Last name, First name" vs "First name last name").
  • The last two footnotes are yet to be completed.
  • Retrieval dates missing from FN 35–37, 97–99, 105, 130, 173–176, 187 and 190.
  • Make sure you have commas after dates, such as "In April 2010, the New York Times...."
  • Please italicise all newpapers' names.
  • Ref missing for "NewsCorp created an iPad-only publication, The Daily, in February 2011." Same with "The iPad can be charged by a standalone power adapter ("wall charger") also used for iPods and iPhones, and a 10 W charger is included with the iPad."
  • Alt text should be added, as per MOS.
    • According to the alt text tool all the images have that now. -- Eraserhead1 <talk> 19:44, 15 January 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • I don't know what the intended difference between File:IPad-02.jpg and File:Steve Jobs with the Apple iPad no logo (cropped).jpg is. Aren't they the same generation?


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/IPad/archive1&oldid=1083676731"