Water392

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Hello, Water392, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:00, 9 September 2019 (UTC)

Notes

Hi, I have some notes for you:

The biggest note I have is that your content is written in a very casual tone that makes the content seem like it's more of a personal interpretation than a summary of what others have written. You want to try to write as formally as possible and to clearly attribute anything that could be seen as an opinion. For example the statement "With this film, Davis was able to prove her skills as a comedy director" is an opinion - some will agree with this while others may not or be ambivalent on the topic. If pulling this from the source you will need to attribute this to the person who made the claim along the lines of "according to..." or "This person stated that...".

I hope this helps! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:03, 22 October 2019 (UTC)

Tamra Davis

Minor revisions needed.

• Good job! Well-structured with good sources overall.
• Ensure that all your factual claims are cited; typically, at least one citation per sentence is required.
• Keep the tone formal and precise throughout so that it's clear that you are citing another author's opinion and not your own, i.e. "some of the thorniest acts in popular music", “Whether it had been laughter or sadness she did not care.”
• Ensure that your citations are not to proxy links (if “proxy.library.carleton.ca” shows up in the URL, it’s a proxy link!)

CropMilk (talk) 15:19, 23 October 2019 (UTC)