User talk:Shaggy Malka/sandbox
Shaggy Malka's contribution in this sandbox will make an excellent addition to the English Wikipedia, especially once the code is fixed to reveal the rest of the article (See Blackboard Post). The article goes into detail about the Canadian Forces Operation Athena and breaks the topic down into manageable components of the operation. In addition to translating the article from French, the author has strengthened the article to establish a better format, which is more likely to adhere to Wikipedia standards for a good article. The original French article uses a "Histoire" section that is too long to be effective in allowing a Wikipedia User narrow their reading to just the information they are looking for. The author remedies this original flaw by breaking down the section into Phase I and Phase II, making the article both more manageable for the reader and a stronger contribution to Wikipedia as a whole.
In terms of content, there are still improvements that the author can make so that the article approaches the Perfect Article standard. For example, in the original French article, the heading "Histoire" would literally translate to "History" in English, and has been translated as such by the author. Reading the original French page, a better translation for this heading might instead be "Chronology", since the section discusses less the history related to the operation, and more what the steps in the operation were, and how they changed the Canadian presence in Afghanistan.
For additional clarity, the author could adjust the two paragraphs that reference the start of Phase II of the operation, in order to consolidate them down to one paragraph, or to reduce redundancy in the discussions that follow. Specifically, the paragraph beginning with "In 2005, the ISAF's efforts..." might fall better under the "Phase II" sub-heading. Some of the themes in these paragraphs throw off the reader's understanding of the chronology of events in this operation. The breakdown of discussion into "Phase I" and "Phase II" before the history section would be even more helpful and even more of an improvement upon the original article if the rest of the "History" section were formatted in a parallel way when the rest of the original article is translated.
On a more minor note, to remain consistent with Wikipedia's citation styles, the author could change the location of reference footnotes so that they appear outside the period after a sentence. This can be changed by simply placing the period before (and removing it from after) the reference code. Additionally, adding a side-box on NATO or on Canadian involvement in Afghanistan would enhance the page by inserting even more links that could extend the reader's understanding of the topic. Some of the wording could also be changed to reflect typical Wikipedia article standards - for example, in the second paragraph of the history section, the phrase "the very same day" could be removed and replaced with "That day," or "on August 11th, 2003" either at the beginning or end of the sentence.
As a whole, this article accomplishes the goals of the assignment and of good Wikipedia articles by focusing on a single subject, presenting information in a neutral way and separating units of information into clarifying sub-headings. With the minor adjustments described above and the contribution of more information from the completed article translation, this article will be a useful addition to the Encyclopedia.GenericNameUser (talk) 14:50, 10 November 2014 (UTC)
Hi everyone,
I am finally done editing this project, please address me your comments and suggestions as I would gladly revisit anything that has been translated from the French version of the article. Thank you very much.
This article was translated from the French Wikipedia article and I felt like it would greatly benefit the Encyclopedia since Operation Athena is the second largest Canadian military operation since World War 2.
As it was just stated, this operation was massive and did receive "significant coverage in reliable sources that are independent of the subject" - which is a requirement for Wikipedia's notability criteria - since its very definition suggests plenty of reports, of newspapers and coverage of all kinds both in Canada, but in Afghanistan and around the world as well. Henceforth, this topic is in accordance with the Wikipedia criteria for notability.
Shaggy Malka (talk) 00:47, 17 November 2014 (UTC)
- As Shaggy Malka had not come back to finish this, I made the page live at Operation Athena. When I did this, I also improved the formatting as suggested above, and removed "br" codes. – Fayenatic London 09:35, 30 July 2016 (UTC)