Ldenbeaux
| This user is a student editor in College_of_Wooster/A_History_of_Native_America_(Fall_2017) . |
Peer Review of Yum Kaax Article (Henry Pride-Wilt)
editHi; I'm looking at the changes you made to the article Yum Kaax! I will break down my peer review in sections and try to give specific feedback on each.
The lead section of the article is pretty strong. The misconception of Yum Kaax as an agricultural deity is described as "popular and still-existing" which is phrasing that I think could be made clearer- perhaps "which still exists as a popular misconception" rather than "which has become a popular and still existing misconception"? Additionally, the fact that he is invoked by hunters and possesses songs seems to be better described as his role in Mayan culture and could be inserted into that section for clarity. (There is no source cited for this fact as well; if possible it should be attributed).
Since the first major section describes rituals that were performed for this deity, and his importance is specified before Columbian contact, it feels as though there should be some mention of how worship of this deity has reduced or changed in modern times, if that information is available. And as I said before, his invocation by hunters would fit nicely into this section of ritual as well.
(First and foremost, make sure the second sentence in the last section is capitalized!) The final section introduces advice learned from the deity by Mayan sorcerers; is this a direct quote from a text? It is described in the second person which makes it read that way, but it isn't clear. Make sure you make this distinction in the article if you are citing a specific Mayan worshiper. Additionally, I think that some context as to how secrets are described as being "learned" from Yum Kaax would be useful for clarity's sake.
It seems like you have very strong academic sources of information here! Well done using them to expand the article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Hpridew19 (talk • contribs) 22:50, 4 December 2017 (UTC)
Welcome!
editHello, Ldenbeaux, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 14:22, 5 December 2017 (UTC)