Kimkev1
This user is a student editor in University_of_Washington/Interpersonal_Media_(Fall_2020) . |
Welcome!
editHello, Kimkev1, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:05, 30 September 2020 (UTC)
COM 482 Introductions
editHi Kevin! I'm Kim Do and I'm a junior majoring in Communication and minoring in Informatics. I LOVE the article that you chose and hope to learn more! :)Kimndo (talk) 22:17, 7 October 2020 (UTC)
Hi
editI saw your edit on your sandbox. While I'm not part of your course I did want to point out that you can check if a mention was sent by clicking on the bell icon at the very top of any page (next to your username). In this case I believe it wouldn't have worked since you need to actually turn it into a link by surrounding it with double brackets ([[User:Asartea]]) or by using the {{u}} template ({{u|Asartea}}) and then adding your siganture (by typing ~~~~). Feel free to test this on me by inserting {{u|Asartea}} ~~~~ on this page Asartea Talk | Contribs 15:14, 9 October 2020 (UTC)
Hello!
editHello this is Paul from COM482. I am just saying hi as part of the class assignment! PaulSereeyothin (talk) 15:48, 9 October 2020 (UTC)
Com 482 Introduction
editHi, I am Wenxi Xue(CeCe) from the Communication 482 class. I am a senior majoring in communication. Just come and say hi to you!LinearBicycle (talk) 02:07, 10 October 2020 (UTC)
Introduction
editHi, I am Yingnan Zhu(Julie) from the Communication 482 class. I am a senior majoring in communication and economics. Just come and say hi to you!SpiritedSeagull (talk) 05:49, 10 October 2020 (UTC)
Welcome!
editGreetings Kimkev1 and welcome (again!) to both Wikipedia and to COM482! I think that Clean Ocean Action is a great topic, the stub had lots of room for improvement, and it looks like you're off to a fantastic start and have added a ton of text to User:Kimkev1/Clean Ocean Action. I would work on turning stuff less from a set of lists and bullets and more to text. You can check out the Wikipedia:Manual of Style or you can just look at other similar excellent articles. Lists can be appropriate but the core of the article should be prose. Good luck! —mako๛ 15:37, 19 October 2020 (UTC)
Thank You
editThank you for looking over! I appreciate your feedback! @Benjamin Mako Hill: Kimkev1 (talk) 23:36, 25 October 2020 (UTC)
Feedback on your draft
editGreetings Kimkev1! I've done a pass on User:Kimkev1/Clean Ocean Action and mainly what I have to say is "wow"! You've added so much! I have a few suggestion:
- Watch out for issues of tone and puffery (see WP:TONE, WP:ADVERT and WP:PUFFERY). For example, instead of "This organization diligently advocates for the protection of marine wildlife, clean beaches, and the preservation of all natural resources that would harm the environment by establishing several campaigns, programs, interactive events, active rallies, and teachings." You can just say 'The organization advocates for..." ("diligently" sounds to me like something they would say, not something a neutral third-party would.
- The article relies pretty heavily on primary sources like COA's website. Can you find third-party and/or secondary sources to establish some of these facts. Those would obviously be better for several reasons and would contribute toward supporting the notability of the oragnization as per WP:NOTABILITY and WP:ORG that I think I linked to you before.
Why don't you do a final pass to clean up that stuff (mostly focused on tone) and then start moving things over to live version. If you want to make more changes to the article, you can just make those changes it in the live version. If you want me to take another look, feel free to ping me and I'll be happy to do so. Good luck and thanks for your work on the article! You've worked very hard on this and it really shows. —mako๛ 20:39, 4 November 2020 (UTC)
- Thank you for your thorough feedback! I have made some changes to my article. Could you do a final pass for me real quick? @Benjamin Mako Hill: Kimkev1 (talk) 05:41, 5 November 2020 (UTC)