Fahmad007
Welcome!
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Welcome!
editHello, Fahmad007, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:37, 27 September 2017 (UTC)
Review from Yuya
editMexico–United States border
editLead section (beginning)
editThe paragraph “There are twenty-three … sovereignty of both countries” should not be in the lead section. You may create other sections such as population and economy. You can also give recent statistics that show the increase in population along the border.
History
editWhat is “another treaty in 1884”? Specify it if possible.
"… due mostly to close ties to the United States, (delete comma) and the Mexican government's support"
Newly Proposed Wall Along the U.S. Mexico Border
editThis section should go under the section “In context of Trump administration.”
Impacts of Border Wall on Wildlife
editThis section should be under the section “environment.”
“$2.2 billion was allocated to building (delete "ing") this wall”
The paragraph starting with “In 2006, during the presidency…” has no verification.
Make the paragraph starting with “According to a delegation of Arizona park …” shorter. I think the main idea is that a border wall will affect wildlife because it restricts the movement of animals.
Yuya.As (talk) 05:10, 29 November 2017 (UTC)
Hi Yuya!
Thank you for your review, I appreciate it. I have questions:
1. Could you please specify the sections (maybe copy and paste them) because I do not understand when you say LINE?
2. "… due mostly to close ties to the United States, (delete comma) and the Mexican government's support" These are not my edits, I did not write this so please comment on my edits which will help me improve it?
Thank you. Fahmad007 (talk) 05:32, 29 November 2017 (UTC)
Hi Fahim!
1. I specified the sections. I hope you will figure out what I refer to.
2. I think I was looking at parts you kept from original, but I am sure I reviewed all of what you added.
3. I should have said "in" a section instead of "under" a section. For example, I wanted you to make the section "proposed wall" as the section 3.5.1.
Yuya.As (talk) 23:58, 4 December 2017 (UTC)
Hi Yuya!
Thank you for your comments. I have made changes to my article and added more information as well. I will continue to improve this article. Fahmad007 (talk) 05:58, 19 December 2017 (UTC)
Culture of Afghanistan
editLine 127: Remove bullets in the section “traditional” because both paragraphs are about the holiday called Nowruz.
Add space between “weather good.” and “On the day of Nowruz.”
Place a period between “before Nowruz to prepare Samanak” and “They pour the ingredients.”
"… the dessert then (add "is") served on the day of Nowruz."
Yuya.As (talk) 05:10, 29 November 2017 (UTC)
Thank you for the comments, Yuya!
I will work on this and will make changes to improve the article.
Thank you... Fahmad007 (talk) 05:37, 29 November 2017 (UTC)