Thank you for your response Basma!
I appreciate all of your suggestions and comments! You have a great point with the Gentrification in San Francisco article. I will shorten the lead and save the more important details for the bigger sections. I also appreciate your other thoughts for the Anti-Tech movement article since I was stuck on what to include and talk about.
Hi Cesar,
I am interested in seeing what you ultimately decide to include in your three pages on Wikipedia including Gentrification in San Francisco, Gentrification, and the Anti-tech movement. However, I have several suggestions for all the pages based on what your initial ideas for additions are for the pages in your sandbox.
Gentrification in San Francisco
I think the lead section for this article is quite long, because it includes too many details including the numbers and percentages. I would suggest saving the details for sections that directly relate to the extra details. I think you can end the lead section at the sentence ending with "shift in the city." The rest of the information would fall under historical background or go in the sections below depending on whether they fit into demographic, economic, or social. Additionally, I would recommend adding a section for history discussing when gentrification began and when it finally came to San Francisco. Other than that, I feel like the lead section has a very neutral tone and does not suggest to the reader whether gentrification is a negative or positive thing. Rather, it gives the reader the opportunity to judge for him or herself.
In the presence of tech section, I would recommend adding why tech companies led to gentrification. This can discuss that tech companies led to a rise in incomes and thus, gentrification occurred. Moreover, instead of saying "demographic or economic trends," I would suggest saying "demographic and economic impact."
Gentrification
I support your vision for this article. I think it would be great to see a short blurb about gentrification in San Francisco to attract attention to the page above. This can primarily focus on the impact of tech companies on the housing situation in San Francisco.
Anti-tech movement
I think this will be a very interesting page to have on Wikipedia. I think you can improve the lead section by providing a more detailed description of what it is and why it has come about. I understand that this might be a difficult movement to find research on, but I would suggest finding books or journals about it. Also, potential sections to consider would be to look at the anti-tech movement based on the region or state including San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles, and Vancouver. This can also attract more attention to the Gentrification and Gentrification in San Francisco pages. Additionally, I would add a section on historical background of the movement and a section on social impacts it has had. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Basma95 (talk • contribs) 05:40, 30 October 2016 (UTC)
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editHello, Cesar.ruiz, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Adam and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 23:39, 18 September 2016 (UTC)