CMCRV 23'
| This user is a student editor in Temple_University/Technology_and_Culture_(Fall_2022) . |
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editHello, CMCRV 23', and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:02, 31 August 2022 (UTC)
The feedback that I have received is to bold my changes, work on the structure of my topic of gaming, have better picture placement and wording for the pictures, and to have more scholarly sources. I have completed all of these changes and I plan on still narrowing down on a main topic for gaming between lgbtq+ and gender roles.
I moved your draft back to your sandbox for multiple reasons. The first is the article duplicates information found on in Women and video games and Gaymer. I recommend improving those articles rather than creating a new one. If you need a refresher on how to do this, please review this training module. Also, the work you have in the current article reads like a personal essay. Remember Wikipedia articles use a formal writing style and are written in a neutral, encyclopaedic tone. The goal is to provide a neutral, fact based summary of the topic at hand, not to persuade the readers. I recommend reading over pgs. 7-9 of Editing Wikipedia before you rewrite to check out some examples of what is appropriate prose for Wikipedia. Brianda (Wiki Ed) (talk) 23:39, 1 December 2022 (UTC)