Ajaniskt
| This user is a student editor in American_University/Women,_Politics_and_Political_Leadership_(Spring_2018) . |
Welcome! edit
Hello, Ajaniskt, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:56, 17 January 2018 (UTC)
Hi - I wanted to give you a little feedback on the article. What I'm most concerned about is this sentence:
- The protest called attention Trump's media violence against the Central Park Five who were underage black boys suspected of raping a white woman who was jogging in Central Park.
All statements need to be neutrally written and with things like this, avoid using phrases like "media violence". That's a very loaded, very charged phrase that is inherently non-neutral and shouldn't be used unless you are referencing a direct quote or definition. A better way to phrase this would be something like this:
- One of the first activities Burke organized through this movement was an protest against Donald Trump for accusations he made in all four of New York City's major newspapers.
While many people would classify his actions as violent, not all people will share this viewpoint - even if they vehemently disagree with his opinion. Calling it media violence can sound like a judgement call, so it's better to avoid loaded, charged phrases.
Much of the content you added was also unsourced or didn't have proper sourcing, which poses another issue - all content, especially quotes and claims, should be sourced with independent, reliable sources. For example, Wikipedia cannot source itself because anyone can edit and in general is not seen as a reliable source. Primary sources like Burke's websites are OK for basic details but you have to make sure that this content - especially quotes- are in the source and that it's directed at the page that has the specific quote or claim.
Also avoid using a too casual tone while writing. Things like "first and foremost" will be too casual and can come across as non-neutral. It's pretty easy to write in a non-formal, even passionate point of view with people and topics like this, because what Burke is doing is so vitally important (which is why I'm glad that you chose to expand her article). However you want to make sure that the page is neutral and well-sourced for people coming in to read more.
I hope that this helps! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:01, 28 March 2018 (UTC)
Hi! Thank you for your edits. Most of the information is directly from Tarana herself when she spoke to students at an event at American University. How do I cite information that came straight from her?