Aciccia93

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Welcome!

Hello, Aciccia93, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:39, 14 September 2018 (UTC)

Jdb337 Peer Edit Revisions to Aciccia93's Edits to A Wrinkle in Time Article: • Does the writer employ concise, plain language? Are any sentences awkward or lengthy? Are there any weasel words? What revisions or proofreading to individual sentences would you recommend? o Avoid the word “wrestles” since it is a cliché. o Try to paraphrase when possible to avoid quotes. o The sentence that starts with “The novel’s scientific and religious undertones…” should include a signal phrase, so the reader knows this is not your own research. o Add another signal phrase for the sentence “The novel is highly spiritualized…” o Confusing part of the sentence “Furthermore, throughout the children’s journey…” because the phrase “almost always” is thrown in there. o Opinion phrase/ “peacock” word: “…There remains doubt to whether the novel truly can be…” o Check grammar regarding commas. o Remove the phrase “In fact” • Does each sentence convey a factual claim? Is each sentence cited? One citation per statement is the minimum expectation. No original research should be included. o Most of the phrases are cited. o Add more signal phrases when the citations are not applied. o Seems like there is some original research when there are opinions thrown in. o I made note of where I thought another reader could see the phrase as “opinionated.” • Does each sentence attribute viewpoints to the people who hold them/the source? Does the writer need to add signal phrases? o See comments above regarding signal phrases. • If writer has composed an entire paragraph, does it flow logically? Is anything unclear to you? o The paragraphs do flow logically. o Helps to see how it fits into the article. • Do you need more information or clarifications to understand the drafted materials? o Some of the sentences could use some clarification since similar words are constantly used. o When possible explain more about what is trying to be said. • If the drafted materials is to be included in the lead-in section, review relevant Wikipedia guidelines. o Does provide more of a summary of the upcoming topics in the article. o Introduce information regarding religion and the controversy it proposes. o Make sure to remove quotes and try to paraphrase. Jdb337 (talk) 18:38, 27 November 2018 (UTC)Jdb337