User:DoctorWho42/The History of Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club (CFWC), Year 1: Volume 1 — Part 1
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The History of Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club (CFWC), Year 1: Volume 1 — Part 1 is a comprehensive project whose intents and objectives are orchestrated solely to the chief aim to catalog the ephemeral Internet history of the Facebook group Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club as it spews forth from the World Wireless Systems first established by Saint Nikola Tesla, a patron saint in the pantheon alongside Henry Darger and Wesley Willis [1]
Establishment edit
| | |
Type of site | Fan site |
|---|---|
| Owner | The Kingfisher |
| Created by | The Kingfisher |
| URL | https://www.facebook.com/groups/441438052640519/ |
| Commercial | No |
| Registration | Free |
| Current status | Open |
"a date which will live in infamy"
—United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt after seizing Die Glocke and setting coordinates for THE FUTURE.
The group's founder Kingfisher looked upon the barren wastes of uncool Facebook with many Cool Freaks in the far corners of the world straining to find cool Wikipedia articles hitherto unknown to the greater masses yet lacking the direct means to do so.
After much reflection hovering above the unfreakified earth in an airship fleet, the Kingfisher made landfall with the founding of the Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club.[2]
Upon Kingfisher Rock, the groups' founder inscribed the words in flaming text: "This group is for cool Wikipedia pages you come across and discussion of them, too. A Kingfisher Joint • SAFE SPACE • send me snaps @ birdco"[3]
Yet the Cool Freaks' network began a life of its own as it was destined to live ... going in several directions at once.[4]
Cool Freaks' network edit
Other ships in the fleet dispersed to found lesser groups maintaining a full-spectrum dominance across the Internets.[5]
Among those that remain...
| Group Name | Content | Founded | Status | Membership (as of 06/18/14) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cool Freaks' Wikia Club | Sharing and discussing wikis and articles hosted by Wikia | Unknown | Closed[6] | 105[7] |
| Cool Freaks' Yahoo! Answers Club | "This group is for funny/absurd Yahoo! Answers you come across and discussion of them, too."[8] | Unknown | Closed[8] | 318[8] |
| Cool Freaks' wikiHow Club | "http://www.wikihow.com/Become-Famous-on-the-Internet"[9] | Unknown | Open[9] | 193[9] |
| Cool Freaks' Last.fm Listening Party | "post an artist and the songs that appear in the station while you're listening. others can join in or just listen along with you"[10] | Unknown | Closed[10] | 89[10] |
| Cool Freaks' Late Bronze Age Collapse Reenactments Club | "post cool historical reenactments of the cultural collapse led on by the Late Bronze Age collapse."[11] | Later Bronze Age | Secret[11] | Secret[11] |
Exponential Growth edit
Nostradamus predicted in his 1559 text Those Crazy Cool Freaks and Their Wacky Wikipedia Club — A Prophecy For the Ages that the Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club would amass a population of 40,000 members and declare itself a country known as "Sealand" by the year 1999. While falling short of Nostradamus's initial estimate, Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club (as of June 2014) is currently nearing the 9,000th member mark.
According to Nostradamus, when the 10,000th member joins the Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club, the technological singularity is scheduled to occur lest the World's Only Computer On the Bottom Of The Ocean (WOCOBOTO) will send out the "Omega Pulse" rendering all cyberpunk futures null or unevenly distributed.[12]
Adminship edit
Presiding over the growing membership of the Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club, various administers enlisted to Judge Kingfisher's Justice Squad deal out justice in Dreddful fashion among the listless lands of Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club.
Among the current admin are Judge Zach Galifianakis and Judge John Hodgman.
Significant events edit
Weekend Pending Approval edit
Aside from the Dancing Plague of 1518 and Defenestrations of Prague, other events have afflicted the freakdom of Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club. Among these was the "Weekend Pending Approval", wherein all posts had to be unceremoniously approved first by an admin and then signed, stamped, filed, and delivered in triplicate via a complex series of tubes. Shortly thereafter, an outbreak of vogon poetry spread destroying any such records pertaining to the event.[13]
The Day the Admins Disappeared edit
| The Day the Admins Disappeared | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| |||||||
| Belligerents | |||||||
 Sealand |
Edgy netkids Fascists | ||||||
| Commanders and leaders | |||||||
|
General Toast Sandwiches Overlord Boops Boops | Unknown | ||||||
| Strength | |||||||
| 14(ish) | Thousands | ||||||
| Casualties and losses | |||||||
| Burnt toast sandwiches | Permanent banishment | ||||||
On June 10th, 2014, an inexplicable event occurred between the early toasting hours of 5 AM and 8 AM EST: all the admins were removed from their dutiful roles of delivering justice among the Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club.
This happened the day after a moratorium was placed on "sensitive subjects" as genocide due to a thread on the Bombing of Dresden in World War II derailed into Debate over the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki amid much conflict and strife.[14]
While turmoil ensued into the later hours of the day, someone climbed the tallest mountain and restored The Administration. Realizing fascists were in their midst and the need for a stronger organization, The Administration reformed itself into the Red Admin Front. One notable General is Willow Fartbutt Shitapple Spaghettispiller, the administration's primary loose cannon, but still a damn good cop. Willow's Banhammer was used heavily against the fascist horde in countless honeypot threads. After the battles there was much rejoicing and toast sandwiches were had by all![15]
In popular culture edit
"A procession of the cool.
- By the cool, I mean the freaky.
- We shall have a procession of cool, freaky Wikipedia articles that Science has excluded."
- Space: 2013: In the opening episode, set on 24 September 2013, List of lists of lists stored on the Moon's far side reaches critical mass and explodes, knocking the Moon out of orbit and sending it, as well as the 311 Cool Freaks of Moonbase Zappa, hurtling uncontrollably into uncharted cool space. Toast sandwiches were served among the crew.
- The Book of the Damned (1917): see opening lines.
Reception edit
The History of Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club (CFWC), Year 1: Volume 1 — Part 1 was called by the separatist splinter group Cool Nerds Trivia Club "asinine" and "does not merit a full Wikipedia on its own."[16]
See also edit
References edit
- ^ See also: List of Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club patron saints.
- ^ a b The Kingfisher (24 September 2013). "Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club - Kingfisher created the group". Facebook. Retrieved 2014-05-25.
- ^ The Kingfisher (4 December 2013). "Cool Freaks' Wikipedia Club - Kingfisher updated the description". Facebook. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
- ^ Buckaroo Banzai. "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984) - Quotes". Internet Movie Database. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
- ^ See also: Panspermia.
- ^ "Cool Freaks' Wikia Club". Facebook. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
- ^ "Cool Freaks' Wikia Club - Members". Facebook. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
- ^ a b c "Cool Freaks' Yahoo! Answers Club". Facebook. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
- ^ a b c "Cool Freaks' wikiHow Club". Facebook. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
- ^ a b c "Cool Freaks' Last.fm Listening Party". Facebook. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
- ^ a b c this is a secret group. members only.
- ^ See also: stonepunk.
- ^ 404 - NOT FOUND
- ^ "Hello Cool Freaks,". Facebook. 6 June 2014. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
- ^ "And There Was Much Rejoicing". YouTube. 22 October 2008. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
- ^ "And There Was Much Rejoicing". imgur. 3 July 2014. Retrieved 2014-06-17.
External links edit
Category:Facebook groups Category:Social networking services Category:Wikipedia culture