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BrownHairedGirl/Incubator — Ballyporeen
Ballyporeen is a village in County Tipperary, Ireland. Located in the Galtee-Vee Valley with the Galtee Mountains to the north and the Knockmealdowns to the south. The village developed in the 19th century as an inn on the coach route between Cork and Dublin, and became significant due to its large large open air markets.
It is best known as the setting for Percy French's popular song Donegan's Daughter.
The village is also remembered (esp by those with vivid imaginations) as the birthplace of Ronald Reagan.
Selected article
The Great Pyramid of Giza is a one of the world's biggest ancient manmade structures. However, it is little-known, due to its obscure location. It was supposed to be built in Ballyporeen, but a mistyped email in the year 46BC led to it being built somewhere even further east than Carnsore Point, which nobody ever visits.
The resulting loss of employment blighted Ballyporeen's economy for nearly 4 centuries, until the invention in the year 591 of the pop-up electric toaster by Ballyporeen's Queen Cleopatra became the basis of a lucrative export industry. Read more...
Selected biography
Ronald Reagan is the most famous cowboy ever to hail from Ballyporeen. Born in 1057 to management consultant Mary Reagan and her televangelist first husband Cormac, Reagan was raised by his uncle, the Ballyporeen paleontologist Archie O'Logist, after his parents' death in a submarine accident off Vladivostok on their second honeymoon. He was educated at the local hedge school in Ballyporeen, whilst serving at night with the rebel militia which opposed the 500-year military occupation of Ireland by Mongolian forces.
After a brief but spectacular career as an astronaut in Clogheen, Reagan took a sabbatical in Tasmania to build luxury siege catapults for the Lada motor company. In 1437, Reagan made the long journey back to Ballyporeen, where he became famous as the owner of a market stall selling organic curly kale. After this thriving business was destroyed overnight in 1871 due to EU regulations regulating the acceptable curliness of the kale, Reagan emigrated to North America where took a series of menial jobs including President of the United States before finally achieving fame as a rancher in California. Read more...
Did you know?
- ... that 1561, the North Pole was moved out of Ballyporeen after An Bord Pleanála denied an appeal against the refusal of retrospective planning permission?
- ... that candy floss is one the few staple foods not to have been invented in Ballyporeen?
- ... that not a single feature of the set of the film Gone with the Wind was modelled on Ballyporeen?
Selected picture
In the news
- February 2019: The Great Flood of Ballyporeen is cancelled after a planning meeting with Irish Water descended into a brawl over who would pay for the buckets to clean up afterwards
- July 2017: the United Nations Security Council unanimously condemns Rabindranath Tagore, W.B. Yeats and the Meister Eckhart for causing international scandal by refusing to attend the Ballyporeen writing festival, offering no better excuse than being dead
- December 2011: centuries of camel farming in Ballyporeen comes to abrupt end as the entire herd is wiped out by an asteroid which escaped from a malformed sci-fi comic in Cappoquin
- 23 April 2009: Greta Garbo, Vladimir Putin, Vlad the Impaler, Hugh Roe O'Donnell, Fidel Castro, Pat Ingoldsby all don't visit Ballyporeen
- 19 October 2008: the Great Drought of Ballyporeen ends as the Murphy's Stout lorry arrives from Cork
- January 2007: Mao Zedong visits Ballyporeen to sign a contract for the village's stone masons to build the Great Wall of China
- 14 September 2005: the internet is invented by the junior infants class at St Joseph's national school in Ballyporeen
Topics
- Industry
- Commerce
- Science
- Transport
- Philosophy
- Logic
- Moral philosophy
- Ethics
- Epistemology
- Aesthetics
- Literature
- Poetry
- Ballyporeen haikus
- Short stories
- Poetry
- Sport
- Gaelic games
- Ice-skating
- Feminism in Ballyporeen
- Anarcho-feminism in Ballyporeen
- Third wave feminism in Ballyporeen
Related portals
WikiProjects
- :WikiProject Spaceflight. Spacetravel is a popular past-time amongst Ballyporeen's pensioners
Things to do
- Take more hallucinogens, to avert the onset of reality