Brighty Shiny Brightgalrs II | |
|---|---|
| Born | November 26, 1993 |
| Died | Hopefully I'm in the generation that ages at a rate slower than the rate at which longevity increases. |
| Nationality | American |
| Occupation | No one of consequence |
| Known for | Not notable |
Ser Brighty Shiny Brightgalrs II /braɪtˈɡæl.ərˌɛs/ ⓘ is a minion of Pubblius Pepetronius VIII[1][2], a man of wealth and taste[3], a gentleman and a scholar.[4]
Etymology edit
The nickname of Robert Schultz, "Brightgalrs" derives from the Proto-Indo-European bʰereg "to gleam, whiten", compunded with -galrs "is super awesome", from Old Norse gallin, "sing bewitching songs".[5] The first use of the nickname was Runa-Scāpus Period of the Schültzenbürger dynasty of Eastern America (c. 2006 AD). The Interrete Road lead to the spread of the term to all parts of the globe.[6] The Chinese philosopher Arccaniesta (c. 2009 AD) made used the name to describe a badassed man in his work 他性感 (Tā Xìng Gǎn). In 2010 AD a revolutionary, Azure de Columbia, used "Brightgalrs" in his radical publications which further reinforced the awesome nature of the name.[7]
Legacy edit
He is a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. He has been known to remodel train stations on his lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.[8] He translates ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, he writes award-winning operas, and he manages time efficiently. Occasionally, he treads water for three days in a row.[9]
He woos women with his sensuous and god-like trombone playing. He can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and he cooks Thirty-Minute Brownies in 20 minutes. He is an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru.[10]
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, he once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.[11] He plays bluegrass cello...he is the subject of numerous documentaries. When he’s bored, he builds large suspension bridges in his yard. He enjoys urban hang-gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, he repairs electrical appliances free of charge.[12]
He is an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.[13] Critics worldwide swoon over his original line of corduroy evening wear. he don't perspire, he is a private citizen, yet he receives fan mail...Last summer he toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration...His deft floral arrangements has earned him fame in international botany circles. Children trust him.[14]
He can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. He once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. He has performed several covert operations for the CIA.[15] He sleeps once a week; when he does sleep, he sleeps in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, he successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to him.[16]
He balances, he weaves, he dodges, he frolics, and his bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, he participates in full-contact origami. Years ago, he discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. He has made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.[17] He breeds prize-winning clams. He has won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. He has played Hamlet, he has performed open heart surgery, and he has spoken with Elvis.[18]
Reception edit
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.[19]
See also edit
References edit
- ^ "List of members of the cult of Pepe". 26 May 2008. Retrieved 15 August 2009.
- ^ "Hi I'm Pepe". 26 May 2008. Retrieved 15 August 2009.
- ^ "Brightgalrs is of Wealth and Taste". 16 December 2009. Retrieved 12 November 2010.
- ^ "Brightgalrs is Gentleman and Scholar". 16 December 2009. Retrieved 12 November 2010.
- ^ "Origin of Brightgalrs". 2 March 2007. Retrieved 7 October 2009.
- ^ "The Spread". 1 December 2006. Retrieved 24 November 2010.
- ^ "Reason is Overrated Says One Man". 17 January 2010. Retrieved 17 April 2011.
- ^ "Man Remodels Whole Train Station Within hours!". 11 June 2007. Retrieved 19 April 2011.
- ^ "Hombre Se Traduce Insultos étnicos". 30 September 2007. Retrieved 1 May 2011.
- ^ "Bicycles, Brownies, Stucco and more". 1 January 2009. Retrieved 5 May 2011.
- ^ "Usando Enxada E Um Copo De água; Village Salvo". 7 January 2009. Retrieved 5 May 2011.
- ^ "Man Repairs Electrical Appliances". 16 January 2009. Retrieved 8 May 2011.
- ^ "Brightgalrs Sits Down And Reveals Awesomeness". 8 February 2009. Retrieved 19 May 2011.
- ^ "Study Finds Children Trust Brightgalrs". 18 February 2009. Retrieved 31 May 2011.
- ^ "Unbelievable! Simply Unbelievable". 4 March 2009. Retrieved 6 June 2011.
- ^ "Laws of Physics do not apply to Brightgalrs". 18 March 2009. Retrieved 21 June 2011.
- ^ "Four Course Meal, Mouli and Toaster Oven Paradise". 23 March 2009. Retrieved 21 June 2011.
- ^ "Elvis Speaks, Brightgalrs Says, Experts Confirm". 14 May 2010. Retrieved 15 July 2011.
- ^ "Dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit" (in Lorem Ipsum). 29 August 1993. Retrieved 31 July 2011.
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