Template:Did you know nominations/York City War Memorial

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Montanabw^(talk) 21:56, 9 March 2016 (UTC)

York City War Memorial, North Eastern Railway War Memorial edit

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York City War Memorial

... that controversy enveloped the North Eastern Railway War Memorial and the York City War Memorial (pictured) after the latter was given a tenth of the former's budget?

ALT1:that Sir Edwin Lutyens designed both the North Eastern Railway War Memorial and the York City War Memorial (pictured) after a controversy surrounding their comparative size?
Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Operation Phoutah, Template:Did you know nominations/William Grant, Lord Grant

Created by HJ Mitchell (talk). Self-nominated at 23:11, 10 February 2016 (UTC).

Articles are both new enough, long enough and within policy. They are well-written and informative. Both rely heavily on a single source which is accepted on good faith; basic details are confirmed by the Heritage England sources. Ideally some additional sources would be consulted, but this is not necessary for DYK.

Both hooks are confusing for the general reader as it isn't obvious that the two memorials were to be located close to each other. I suggest something along the lines of ALT2: "...that Sir Edwin Lutyens' York City War Memorial (pictured) is just 100 yards (90 metres) from his North Eastern Railway War Memorial, built with ten times the budget?" Other suggestions are welcome.

The picture is clear at small size and illustrates the hook well. I've added (pictured) to the proposed hooks

QPQ has been completed. Warofdreams talk 15:45, 26 February 2016 (UTC)

@Warofdreams: Thanks. I'm not sure that they're confusing but your proposed alternative works fine as well as or instead of my two suggestions. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 20:29, 26 February 2016 (UTC)

Great,

for ALT2. Warofdreams talk 19:40, 27 February 2016 (UTC)

@Warofdreams: Please be wary of introducing new facts to hooks without requesting for a second opinion to validate it. I tried to check the claim myself before quickly promoting it. Unfortunately, there was no inline citation at the end of the sentence containing the claimed 90 m distance in either article. Jolly Ω Janner 09:00, 28 February 2016 (UTC)

@Jolly Janner: Actually they're not 90 metres apart; 90 metres relates to the distance between the NER memorial and the original proposed site for the city memorial, but the location was changed during the planning process. Frankly, I don't see the problem with my first proposed hook. Nonetheless, how about:

ALT3...that the North Eastern Railway War Memorial and the York City War Memorial (pictured) were built by Sir Edwin Lutyens on opposite sides if the city walls?

ALT4...that the York City War Memorial (pictured) was built on land donated by the North Eastern Railway, who also built their own war memorial in York?

Both of those are in the article and sourced, even if they sort of miss the point in that the controversy is the reason there are ~3500 words to write about these memorials. HJ Mitchell | Penny for your thoughts? 13:19, 28 February 2016 (UTC)

ALT4 would work, I feel. The rest of the articles check out as per Warofdreams's review.—♦♦ AMBER^(ЯʘCK) 20:17, 8 March 2016 (UTC)