Wikipedia

Template:Did you know nominations/Tarraville

< Template:Did you know nominations
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:25, 22 February 2019 (UTC)

DYK toolbox

Tarraville edit

(
)

Created by SkyGazer 512 (talk). Self-nominated at 14:49, 28 January 2019 (UTC).

Interesting article about a small sleepy place with a sad history, on good sources, no copyvio obvious. Article: the long one-sentence comes without context, - any way to connect it? Hook: I confess not to be happy, but perhaps a combination would work. Avoid repetition. The link to the ACoA is pretty useless, as people would expect an article on the specific building not the later name of the organization that built it. Does it even matter for this hook what denomination the church was? I suggest you combine the first part of the original hook with today's sleepiness from ALT1, and drop Gippsland, unless you absolutely want to promote that ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 17:08, 31 January 2019 (UTC)
@Gerda Arendt: Thanks for the review.
Re article: I assume you mean According to a book by the United States Government Publishing Office in 1920, one could travel from the town to Port Albert using a coach and to Melbourne using a railway? I was having a bit of trouble fitting that in, previously I had it within the paragraphs but it looked much worse there so I thought that the best place to put it would be in its own paragraph. I'd be fine with just removing it altogether if you think that would be necessary for DYK, as it's not extremely important to the page or anything.
Re hook ACoA: I've omitted the link and changed "Anglican Church of Australia" to simply church. I appreciate the suggestion.
Re hook combining/Gippsland: By "drop Gippsland", do you mean just remove "oldest church in Gippsland" altogether? I wouldn't necessarily be a fan of doing so, as I think it's an interesting fact. It's true that we couldn't really combine the hooks completely if we didn't drop that without making them overly long. But do we need to completely combine them? I suppose we could keep ALT0 mostly the way it is but combine just the "sleepy town" part of ALT1 into it. I'll be thinking of more specific suggestions. Cheers, --SkyGazer 512 Oh no, what did I do this time? 19:56, 31 January 2019 (UTC)
Oh, by "drop Gippsland" do you mean drop the part about being the largest town in Gippsland in ALT1 and just combine the "sleepy town" part into ALT0? If so, that could work. Perhaps the following?
  • ALT2: ... that the "sleepy town" of Tarraville contains what is the second oldest timber building in Victoria and the oldest church in Gippsland?
--SkyGazer 512 Oh no, what did I do this time? 3:01 pm, Today (UTC−5)
Article suggestion: that's just a suggestion, has nothing to do with DYK requirement. As a reader, I found that bit out of context. Funny enough: For a hymn, I have a similar situation, not yet solved, - a cute fact when it was sung.
Even in the original, I feel a slight duplication. I'd prefer just one of the two similar facts, and I bet that more readers know Victoria than Gippsland. Try your luck. I could propose a hook, but then I couldn't also review it ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:24, 31 January 2019 (UTC)
@Gerda Arendt: Well, I'll leave it in the article for now and I'll try to see if I can figure out a better way to incorporate it; if someone else complains about it I'd be more than happy to remove it and I'd be fine with someone else removing it as well. I personally like having both; it's true that most readers know Victoria, but the oldest church altogether seems more significant than the second oldest timber building. I personally don't see the issue with including both, as they're different facts. However, we could try the following or something like that:
  • ALT3: ... that the "sleepy town" of Tarraville, which was once the largest town in Gippsland, contains the second oldest timber building in Victoria?
Cheers, --SkyGazer 512 Oh no, what did I do this time? 03:26, 1 February 2019 (UTC)
ALT3 is excellent! Please have a different signature for such great solutions ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 08:46, 1 February 2019 (UTC)
Can I suggest ALT3a
  • ALT3a: ... that the "sleepy town" of Tarraville, with a population of around 80, was once the largest town in Gippsland and contains the second oldest timber building in Victoria? Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:46, 19 February 2019 (UTC)
also fine, but not sure if people will want to know more about a place with 80 people ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 08:03, 19 February 2019 (UTC)
ALT3a looks fine to me, thanks for the suggestion. --SkyGazer 512 Oh no, what did I do this time? 14:24, 19 February 2019 (UTC)
I thought that for the largest town in Gippsland to now have only 80 residents was quite impressive. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 14:31, 19 February 2019 (UTC)
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Template:Did_you_know_nominations/Tarraville&oldid=884528604"