Template:Did you know nominations/Peter Austin

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 talk 12:39, 6 February 2014 (UTC)

Peter Austin edit

  • ... that Peter Austin built some 140 breweries in 17 countries?

Created by Edwardx (talk). Self nominated at 23:43, 4 February 2014 (UTC).

  • Date, length OK. The hook is too exact; the source says he built "some 140 breweries". Perhaps add "about" or "some" to the hook. And the stub tag should be removed. I cannot find a reference to the two sentences ending in "Gordon Brown" - I guess this is because the article is still being expanded, but if it's to appear on the main page, this should be covered and the in use tag to disappear, at least for the present. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 15:51, 5 February 2014 (UTC)
  • Thank you for your helpful comments. I was trying to keep the hook short, but I agree that adding "some" is a worthwhile improvement. And I've added two references to that section. I've also removed the under constrcution and stub tags. Edwardx (talk) 17:56, 5 February 2014 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the improvements and references. All OK now. --Peter I. Vardy (talk) 18:19, 5 February 2014 (UTC)