Template:Did you know nominations/Mellissa Dunn

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by BlueMoonset (talk) 22:32, 29 March 2014 (UTC)

Mellissa Dunn edit

  • ... that the paralympian silver medallist Mellissa Dunn now leads her own firm of lawyers?

5x expanded by Victuallers (talk). Self nominated at 21:43, 26 March 2014 (UTC).

Article has recently been more than 5x expanded and is over the 1500 character threshold. The hook is properly sourced, and interesting. The only reservations I have is that the prose would benefit from a little copyediting. For example, "she had a terrible car accident" - I'm sure everyone who's been involved in a car accident would describe it as terrible. I think with just toning down and rewording a few things, we'll be good to go. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 20:09, 27 March 2014 (UTC)
Are you sure that you are using DYK criteria? I had a car accident that not only scratched the paintwork but unso caused a small dent. It was not a "terrible car accident" as no one was hurt not paralysed or killed. I will change the phrase, but can you please consider it against DYK criteria. Victuallers (talk) 23:23, 27 March 2014 (UTC)
The specific DYK criteria that was problematic is section 4a) - "Articles must meet the neutral point of view policy" and "Articles and hooks that focus unduly on negative aspects of living individuals or promote one side of an ongoing dispute should be avoided.". A "terrible accident" is POV - the term used by Wikipedia (and, indeed, the British police) is "traffic collision" - an "accident" implies no-one was to blame. We should not dwell on the perceived severity of her accident (it can't be that terrible as she survived!), but focus on the positive aspects of her life that followed. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have copyedited the article so it can now pass. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 13:19, 28 March 2014 (UTC)