Template:Did you know nominations/Kathleen N. Straus

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:47, 24 February 2017 (UTC)

Kathleen N. Straus edit

  • Reviewed: I am exempt from the QPQ requirement because this is only my fourth DYN nomination

Created by EAWH (talk). Self-nominated at 17:34, 31 January 2017 (UTC).

Detailed bio, on good sources, no copyvio obvious. - I moved the detailed award section from the lead, - please consider to mentions two or three as a summary in the lead. You may want to place the refs to their first occurrence, or perhaps place them all in a references section, away from the prose. - I confess that the hook - correct as it all is - would not not make me want to find out more about her. Can you think of something more catchy? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:02, 20 February 2017 (UTC)
  • I have made the reference edits suggested by the reviewer and proposed an alternate hook.EAWH (talk) 16:22, 22 February 2017 (UTC)
You can just talk to me ;) - - Please no changes in the nomination, better place ALTs below (next time). I write how I understand it, and you tell me what you think of it:
ALT2: ... that Kathleen N. Straus served three eight-year terms on the Michigan State Board of Education, the last until age 93? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 17:13, 22 February 2017 (UTC)
Thanks! I'm still pretty new at this. How about a very minor change to what you wrote:
ALT3: ... that Kathleen N. Straus served three eight-year terms on the Michigan State Board of Education, the last until she was age 93? -EAWH (talk) 17:50, 22 February 2017 (UTC)
ALT5: ... that Kathleen N. Straus was elected to three consecutive 8-year terms on the Michigan State Board of Education, completing the final term when she was aged 93? EAWH (talk) 02:09, 23 February 2017 (UTC)
Thank you, both. I left two options, say that the terms were consecutive or not. I don't think it adds interest to know that but sometimes a longer hook is wanted for balance of sections. Not sure about 8 vs. eight in this case, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 10:34, 23 February 2017 (UTC)