Template:Did you know nominations/Henry Brown (New Zealand politician)
- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Miyagawa (talk) 11:51, 11 August 2012 (UTC)
Henry Brown (New Zealand politician) edit
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- ... that within a year of settling in New Zealand, Henry Brown's (pictured) family lived right where the First Taranaki War was fought?
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Transformers G1: Awakening
- Comment: Recently expanded
Created/expanded by Schwede66 (talk). Self nom at 19:29, 22 July 2012 (UTC)
Length and history verified. However, there is one paragraph that ends without a footnote, and I have duly tagged it.Furthermore, the hook could stand to be improved. At the very least it could be rephrased:
- ALT1: ... that, within a year of settling in New Zealand, Henry Brown's (pictured) family were living in the middle of the First Taranaki War?
- But the problem here remains that the article doesn't quite say this outright, and frankly I don't think that's all that catchy as a hook ... a lot of other European settlers in colonies lived in what soon became war zones. So I propose instead:
- ALT2: ... that Henry Brown's (pictured) family stayed on their land during New Zealand's First Taranaki War, since as a minister's family they were considered tapu by the Māori? Daniel Case (talk) 04:37, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Technically, the article should have been ok as it was ("A rule of thumb is one inline citation per paragraph", and there were two in that paragraph), but I have managed to find that reference again (I had read it, added the fact, but had closed the source before I had added the ref) and have added it. As for ALT2, adding the word 'initially' would probably be closer to the fact. I've made other changes to the hook (I like your suggestion!) and thus provide it as ALT3.
- ALT3 ... that Henry Brown's (pictured) family initially stayed on their land during New Zealand's First Taranaki War, since a minister's family was considered tapu by the Māori? Schwede66 18:57, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
Alright. Good to go. Daniel Case (talk) 03:30, 10 August 2012 (UTC)
- ALT3 ... that Henry Brown's (pictured) family initially stayed on their land during New Zealand's First Taranaki War, since a minister's family was considered tapu by the Māori? Schwede66 18:57, 9 August 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Technically, the article should have been ok as it was ("A rule of thumb is one inline citation per paragraph", and there were two in that paragraph), but I have managed to find that reference again (I had read it, added the fact, but had closed the source before I had added the ref) and have added it. As for ALT2, adding the word 'initially' would probably be closer to the fact. I've made other changes to the hook (I like your suggestion!) and thus provide it as ALT3.
