- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:29, 29 August 2018 (UTC)
| DYK toolbox |
|---|
Hassan Tampuli
edit* ... that prior to heading the National Petroleum Authority, Hassan Tampuli once secured the release of a Lebanese-Ghanaian journalist from wrongful detention? Source: [1] and [2] Comment
ALT1:... that before heading the National Petroleum Authority, Hassan Tampuli was a human rights activist and lecturer? Source: [3] and [4]
Created by Crosstemplejay (talk). Self-nominated at 13:36, 14 June 2018 (UTC).
- @Crosstemplejay:First, thank you for contributing to Wikipedia and taking interest in DYK. Your article is New, long enough and QPQ done. Few questions and issues: Why article is named Hassan when references states Alhassan? Article also uses Alhassan in the lead. Use his official/most common name as title and add 'also known as' in the lead to avoid confusion. Hook needs a verifiable reference. Ghana Gardian reference only says that "Hassan Tampuli was a Lawyer for Ghanaian-Lebanese journalist and author Fadi Daboussi, and a known NPP loyalist who was invited by the BNI for a defamatory comment made about former President, John Mahama." which does not imply wrongful detention. You need to add precise reference stating it was wrongful detention. In article, you have provided details about the case but it uses the same reference and the other reference is just "Google search result" which can not used as a reference when we can locate the precise information. So please provide the reference in the article so hook can be verified. ALT1 hook should have a reference clearly saying what is said in the hook. So it also needs a new reference. Article has some complex lines like: "As a lawyer, Tampuli took on many cases in which people's fundamental human rights have been infringed upon." which can be simply written like "As a lawyer, Tampuli took on many cases of the human rights violations." This line is not neutral, "As head of NPA, he has been leading the crusade for proper regulation of the petroleum industry in Ghana". Simply write what he is doing at NPA as in the reference, not "leading crusade". Some words like "spent time", "embarked" can be substituted with simple words like "worked at", "took". Check for small grammatical errors. Article can be better divided in following sections: Early life and education, Career/Legal career/Political and administrative career. Link alma mater in the infobox. Everything else looks good. Please ping me after you have addressed these issues. Thank you again for contributing to Wikipedia. Regards,-Nizil (talk) 14:29, 16 June 2018 (UTC)
- @Nizil Shah: Thanks for the review. Very happy with the painstaking search you made. I have made major changes so please go through the article and let me know what you think. Thanks once again. CrossTempleJay 11:41, 18 June 2018 (UTC)
@Crosstemplejay:, thank you for improvements. I have also copyedited a little bit, changed section titles and removed repeated info on his education. Now article looks OK. Now suggest a new hook or change in hook with precise reference because suggested hooks are not clear from references you have provided. "Wrongful detention" is not mentioned in the reference you provided so reword appropriately. There is no other case of human right violation is mentioned and he was working in his capacity as a lawyer, I have to think about that label. Is there any source which mention him as a human rights activist? We can use it and make a new hook from ALT1. Regards,-Nizil (talk) 12:55, 20 June 2018 (UTC)
- @Nizil Shah: Thanks for your review. I dont know whether you have a problem with the word wrongful because according to the article holding someone in cells for more than 48 hours is indeed wrongful and unconstitutional anyway I will suggest a new hook below. Thanks. CrossTempleJay 11:19, 21 June 2018 (UTC)
* ALT2: ... that Hassan Tampuli prior to heading the National Petroleum Authority, once secured the release of a Lebanese-Ghanaian pilot and author from unconstitutional detention? Source: [5] and [6] Comment
- @Crosstemplejay:, I don't have problem with word 'wrongful' or 'unconstitutional' but these words are not mentioned in any reference so I have asked for such references. Even one ref said that it was not politically motivated. So we should not judge it as wrongful if we do not have such reference. Please add references which says he worked for cases of human rights violations because only one case is mentioned and no refs mention him as human rights lawyer. ALT2 should drop nationality of author to make it shorter. I am suggesting a new one below. Regards, -Nizil (talk) 14:24, 23 June 2018 (UTC)
ALT3: ... that Hassan Tampuli prior to heading the National Petroleum Authority of Ghana, had secured the release of an author from detention for writing about the President of Ghana?
- @Nizil Shah: Thanks for your review. I have taken the bit about human rights activist out. I am cool with your ALT3 but I am modifying it a bit. Thanks once again. Now all that is left is for another review/reviewer. God bless.CrossTempleJay 13:09, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
- ALT3a:
... that Hassan Tampuli prior to heading the Ghana's petroleum authority, had secured the release of an author from detention for writing about the President of Ghana?
I am OK with your ALT3a. Now good to go. Thank you for solving out issues patiently and carefully. I appreciate your cooperation. Someone else should have a look and approval of hook. Regards, -Nizil (talk) 14:27, 25 June 2018 (UTC)
- @Narutolovehinata5:, can you check and approve the hook? Its been waiting for more than a month now just for a pair of fresh eyes. Regards,-Nizil (talk) 11:56, 8 August 2018 (UTC)
- @Crosstemplejay and Nizil Shah: His year of birth (1977) needs to be mentioned in the lede, and there's a "citation needed" template in one of the statements. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 08:42, 18 August 2018 (UTC)
- Thank you for taking up the review. I have added birthdate. I think you are talking about "clarification needed". @Crosstemplejay:, please provide clarification. So he can go ahead.-Nizil (talk) 12:56, 18 August 2018 (UTC)
- @Crosstemplejay: is inactive since a month. So I have removed that clarification needed sentence. @Narutolovehinata5:. Regards,-Nizil (talk) 06:03, 25 August 2018 (UTC)
Should be good to go now, though I would rephrase ALT3a as:
- ALT3b: prior to heading the Ghana's petroleum authority, Hassan Tampuli secured the release of an author who had been detained for writing about the President of Ghana?
- Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 08:23, 25 August 2018 (UTC)