Template:Did you know nominations/Gorgona Agricultural Penal Colony
- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:53, 25 June 2013 (UTC)
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Gorgona Agricultural Penal Colony edit
... that inmates at the Gorgona Agricultural Penal Colony are partnering with the Frescobaldi family to produce Italian wine for high-end restaurant wine lists?
Created by Agne27 (talk). Self nominated at 20:16, 15 June 2013 (UTC).
New, long, neutral, but I'd like to see it cited better. Citations currently sit at the end of the paragraph, so I don't know if the first few sentences of each paragraph are included in that source. The citations should follow close to every sentence if it's indeed sourced. Can you take a second look? Hook is interesting but the high-end restaurant part does not have a ref in the article (but that goes with my previous point). Looking good otherwise! czar · · 05:08, 16 June 2013 (UTC)
- Per WP:CITE, "If a word or phrase is particularly contentious, an inline citation may be added next to that word or phrase within the sentence, but it is usually sufficient to add the citation to the end of the sentence or paragraph, so long as it's clear which source supports which part of the text." So unless an item is contentious, I try to keep my cites near the end of the paragraph to avoid having scenarios where the same redundant citation is littered throughout a paragraph.
- In the the 3rd paragraph of the lead, the second line "that will retail for $66 a bottle and be featured on the wine lists of several high-end Italian restaurants including a Michelin Guide 3-star rated restaurant in Florence." as well as the line that immediately proceeds it are both sourced to the same ref (FN#1-MSNBC). The "high-end" line, in particular, is from the very first paragraph of the ref.
| “ | High on a hillside overlooking the azure sea on a small Mediterranean island, two brawny men toil under the sun in a vineyard that has just released a $66 wine destined for the tables of top restaurants. | ” |
- Rather than risk Wikipedia:Close paraphrasing with using a phrase too close to "the tables of top restaurants", I rewrote the line in my own words, taking a cue from the ref's title "'You are outside and free': Italian island jail hosts high-end vineyard" and knowing from experience and previous knowledge that vineyards described as "high-end" produces "high end wine" that sought after by "high end" restaurants. I hope I have answered your concerns. I would like to avoid having to add an unnecessary, redundant ref to two consecutive lines sourced by the same material but if that is your only main objection then the ref has been added. AgneCheese/Wine 13:15, 16 June 2013 (UTC)
- 3b of the eligibility criteria requires a citation immediately following the sentence for the DYK nom. I also highly recommend citing as precisely as possible if not for now then for when the article is inevitably expanded in the future with footnotes, which will make the footnoting situation into a snafu, but that's not the topic at hand. Thanks for spelling out the sourcing (quick quotes would do, for the future). I can't see where the article says several restaurants have purchased the wine, just the Michelin three-star. (It's "destined" for tables, not actually, materially there.) Can you revise the article to accommodate the sourcing? Also re: the hook, I recommend "to produce high-end Italian wine." (ending it there, not mentioning restaurants, or just mentioning the one Michelin restaurant cited). czar · · 04:24, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
- The MSNBC source says "several top restaurants" (plural). However, I would be fine your proposed Alt. AgneCheese/Wine 13:20, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
- As I mentioned, it says "destined for several top restaurants" as one is destined to make it big in Hollywood—no indication that multiple restaurants have purchased the wine. Update the article and hook to reflect the source and we're good. Also, did you want to include an image? czar · · 13:59, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
- The MSNBC source says "several top restaurants" (plural). However, I would be fine your proposed Alt. AgneCheese/Wine 13:20, 17 June 2013 (UTC)
- Rather than risk Wikipedia:Close paraphrasing with using a phrase too close to "the tables of top restaurants", I rewrote the line in my own words, taking a cue from the ref's title "'You are outside and free': Italian island jail hosts high-end vineyard" and knowing from experience and previous knowledge that vineyards described as "high-end" produces "high end wine" that sought after by "high end" restaurants. I hope I have answered your concerns. I would like to avoid having to add an unnecessary, redundant ref to two consecutive lines sourced by the same material but if that is your only main objection then the ref has been added. AgneCheese/Wine 13:15, 16 June 2013 (UTC)
- ALT1 ... that inmates at the Gorgona Agricultural Penal Colony have partnered with the Frescobaldi family to produce high-end Italian wine?
