Wikipedia

Template:Did you know nominations/Confessionsofa Ex-Doofus-ItchyFooted Mutha

< Template:Did you know nominations
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:46, 14 December 2018 (UTC)

DYK toolbox

Confessionsofa Ex-Doofus-ItchyFooted Mutha edit

(
)

Created/expanded by SL93 (talk). Self-nominated at 00:51, 30 October 2018 (UTC).

  • Date, size, refs, hook, neutrality, copyvio spotcheck, all GTG. Through some language c/e may be useful, I don't particularly consider the sentence " Someone said that it would make a great idea and the author latched on to that idea" great prose, but I am not a prose copyeditor, and overall it is passable.--Piotr Konieczny aka Prokonsul Piotrus| reply here 08:13, 30 October 2018 (UTC)
  • Hi, I came by to promote this, but the hook is a little bland. The title is so interesting; could you write something hooky around that? Yoninah (talk) 19:58, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
  • @SL93: well, I would have assumed that from the title. BTW, the article is barely start-class. You have this highly repetitive text under Production which probably should be cut: Van Peebles was a part of the Merchant Marine when he was a child and he used his memories of people back then to write a graphic novel. It was originally intended to be a novel, but Van Peebles thought that a graphic novel would be interesting when he heard about them, back when graphic novels were a new concept. Someone said that it would make a great idea and the author liked that idea.
  • Here is another hook idea:
  • ALT2: ... that in Confessionsofa Ex-Doofus-ItchyFooted Mutha, Melvin Van Peebles plays himself, his mother is 40 years younger than him, and his lover is oldyoung enough to be his grandchildgranddaughter? Yoninah (talk) 20:23, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
  • Yoninah ALT2 is good, but I'm not sure if you mean to cut the text entirely out or to shorten it. SL93 (talk) 20:27, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
  • @SL93: Please shorten it. Stop saying "graphic novel" over and over again :). Do you have anything else to flesh this subject out? Yoninah (talk) 20:29, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
  • Yoninah, I added more, but I don't think I can add more than that. I also shortened that part of the section. SL93 (talk) 20:39, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
  • Thank you, it looks good. New reviewer needed for ALT2. Yoninah (talk) 21:10, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
I must say ALT2 is a very good hook...well cited in fact. I've struck some letters and changed up some things. Good to go! Ps: This has potential for an April Fool's DYK XD VincentLUFan (talk) (Kenton!) 07:00, 13 December 2018 (UTC)
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Template:Did_you_know_nominations/Confessionsofa_Ex-Doofus-ItchyFooted_Mutha&oldid=873648542"