Talk:Vespula atropilosa

Suggestions

Overall this page is detailed and well written. In the overview section, the following sentence has 2 citations: “Vespula atropilosa colonies are founded by a queen in the spring and grow most during mid-summer.[6][7] “ It would be best to separate the citations such that it is clear what facts came from which source, if possible. I noticed in the overview section that some places have “yellowjackets” (in “Prairie yellowjackets”) capitalized, and others do not. I would recommend making the capitalization or lowercase letters consistent throughout the page. I would consider adding a reference for the name of the spcies as included on the right box. In the following sentence, I would add a comma after ”United States” and one after “Canada”: “More specifically it is found in the Western and Midwestern United States ranging from Seattle to Arizona and in parts of southern Canada such as Alberta and British Columbia.” I did notice many subject verb agreement errors and other minor grammatical errors and typos. While I have done my best to correct such mistakes, I would suggest proofreading the page for ones that I’ve missed. For example, in the sentence “Nests posses a single comb containing worker cells which is located above the queen cells” “posses” should be “possess.” Alison Gozlan (talk) 04:38, 24 October 2014 (UTC)

Feedback

Your article is very well written and thorough, and provided lots of interesting details. Throughout the article I added commas just to make the sentence structure flow better. I also linked several words such as insects so that the page would receive more traffic from related articles. There were several sections that I would love to see more detail added. For example, you spoke about the competition between males to mate with females but didn’t address any competition between females to be queen. I would be curious about the social hierarchy and competition between females for reproductive rights. Additionally under the diet section I think it would be helpful to include brief descriptions of the genus you are referring to. Although you hyperlinked words such as “Diptera” I believe that providing an in text description would help the layman read the article much more smoothly without opening another browser. Finally under the section of mating behavior you mention that queens get knocked to the ground during the males’ competition over her. Discussing the possible consequences of queen injury due to this violent competition would be interesting. Over all very well done, I hope my suggestion help! Akinjenn (talk) 04:06, 24 October 2014 (UTC)

Peer Review

Your article is very well presented. The pictures are great, and your classification box is very thorough. Great job on the overview, but I think it would be beneficial to give a couple of examples for the insect prey. I know you talk about it in depth later in the article, but naming a couple of the insect prey in the overview will make it a bit more detailed.
The first two sentences in the colony establishment category are a bit awkward and run-ons. They should be broken into multiple sentences and simplified. All of the information is there, but it is very jam packed. Don't be afraid to break them up into more simple accounts or using semicolons to connect the separated descriptions.
I added bunch of commas in Colony Growth, Behavior, Kin selection and other interactions. In Kin Selection, the sentence “This system of sex determination results in daughters from a single father being more related to each other than to either their mother” is confusing and should be reworded and broken up for coherency. There were some misspellings and typing errors, so I suggest you read over your article again to make sure I didn't miss any.
In addition, the first picture in the taxonomy box describes the wasp feeding on pollen. However, the article never addresses the wasp’s diet on pollen. This information should be added to coincide with the picture.
The last section on Trapping is very interesting. I wonder if there is any controversy over these tactics of human control. Are they considered pests? If not, how often are these trappings used? Perhaps you could add more information about the motives for using trappings and whether this is humane treatment for the wasps. Otherwise, great job! Chiararosenbaum (talk) 21:44, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

Peer Review

I took out some dead links, including “xanthic”, and since this is a dead link, I would suggest explaining what xanthic is in your overview. Otherwise, it is a little bit confusing. In addition, I would recommend that you group all of the “Colony growth by developmental stages” subheadings together. As it stands now, the sections seem too short to stand alone. I would give the same advise for the “Foraging behavior” subsection. Perhaps it could be worked into the worker interaction section? Or you could create a new heading that covered both called “Worker behaviors”. I thought that your title “Nest associates” was a little bit confusing and I would consider changing that name! Finally in order to improve the flow of your piece I would consider changing some of your sentences around. For example, “Fannia is a genus consisting of flies. Fannia eggs or larvae were found in some V. atropilosa colonies” may be better stated as “Fannia (a genus that includes flies) eggs and larvae were found in some V. atropilosa colonies.” I didn’t make the change because I wanted to make sure you approved first. Overall, this was a great article! User:Kaykup|Kaykup]] (talk) 00:01, 18 November 2014 (UTC)

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