Talk:Traveling (song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 03:21, 2 June 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• Looks good :)

Lead

Paragraph 2

• "both on" should be flipped to state "on both"
• Below it says it was also "certified gold"
• Add the respective years to the tours in the sentence: "It has been performed on some of Utada's tours, including Utada in Bokuhan and Utada United."

Background and release

Paragraph 1

• It's up to you, but instead of saying "her debut album First Love in 1999;", you could also say "her debut album First Love (1999);" But like I said, it's up to you
• Instead of putting the instruments in parentheses, I would reword it as such: "The song included live instrumentation by Saito Mitsutaka, who played the bass guitar, and Tsunemi Kazuhide, who played synthesizers, while it was arranged by Utada and Kawano Kei."

Paragraph 2

• Reword first sentence to "It was released as a CD single, in both Japan and China." please
• No source for the first two sentences
• Put "behind the scenes" in quotation marks like I just did :P
• Add "vinyl's" before "artwork was a screenshot taken by Kiriya.[7]" please

Composition

• Looks good to me! :)

Critical response

• The "associate professor of biological sciences and" part is highly unnecessary
• Semi-colon after "... it as the album's best track." instead of the period/full stop
• "as one of her best songs" --> "as one of Hikaru's best songs"
• Since you start mentioned accolades and awards for the song, I would add a small section title to this called "Accolades", right before the "At the 16th Japan Gold Disc Awards,..." sentence

Commercial performance

• Nothing for this section at all; great, great work!!!

Music video

Paragraph 1

• "travelling" --> "traveling"
• "include the song's title..." --> "includes the song's title..."
• "cover their face." --> "cover their faces."
• "ore-chorus" --> "pre-chorus"
• 'Intercut' is one word

Paragraph 2

• Every sentence in this paragraph begins with "the", followed by the corresponding part of the song; you can change it up, with something like "In the bridge section,...", "During the song's chorus..."
• Rest looks good

Live performances and promotion

• "It's" --> "Its"
• Rest also looks good

Track listings and formats

• Lowercase the 'v' in "vinyl" please

Chart and certifications

Weekly charts

• The section title is "Weekly charts", but includes daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly charts. I would divide them up accordingly, making sure to place "yearly" charts in a separate section like you have and did in my previous GA reviews for your articles
• Add the Billboard Adult Alternative Radio Songs chart here since you mentioned it previously
• Pluralize "Certification" to "Certifications" since there are multiple (two) certifications listed

Other notes

• Needs a "Release history" section to further support the statements previously mentioned in the article, plus most singles articles have it...

End of GA Review:

On hold for seven days; great work! Carbrera (talk) 21:56, 3 June 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera: Done and dusted Regarding the charts section, I had re-organized and added a DVD chart for the DVD single. You can contact me whether its good for the article, or you can ask me to remove it. Your call; cheers CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 03:16, 4 June 2016 (UTC)

@CaliforniaDreamsFan: Just made one fix. "Wait & See (Risk)" is up next for review! Carbrera (talk) 03:28, 4 June 2016 (UTC)