Talk:To Be (song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 21:45, 15 September 2016 (UTC)

Initial comments

• Is it really "stylized as 'TO BE'"? I mean, many songs have their titles capitalized on single covers...
  • It is infact stylized as it is lol; the titling is referenced on her CD's, DVD releases, digital media, etc.
• You use "it" a lot at the beginning of the lead
• "Some highlighted the single as one of Hamasaki's best work" --> "Some highlighted the single as one of Hamasaki's best works"
• "reaching number four on the" --> "reaching number four on both the"
• "entered again on both record charts." --> "re-entered both record charts."
• "different colorful clothing." --> "a variety of colorful clothing." What do you think of this?
• "To promote the single, it appeared on several remix and greatest hits compilation albums and live concert tours conducted by Hamasaki." --> "To promote the single, it appeared on several remix and greatest hits compilation albums, in addition to various live concert tours conducted by Hamasaki."
• "The song was covered by Chinese recording artist An Youqi, who won the Super Girl competition years prior." --> When was it covered? And is this 100% necessary here?
• "which incorporated" --> "which heavily incorporated"
• "The mini CD format featured a total of three tracks; the origianl recording" --> "The mini CD format featured a total of three tracks: the origianl recording"
• Shouldn't its worldwide release in 2008 be mentioned for "release"?
• ""To Be)"" --> ""To Be""
• "replica" --> "replicate"
• "one of her highest singles to do so" --> I don't think this is necessary
• "It lasted 15 weeks on the chart" --> Add this to the previous sentence for better prose
• ""Love (Destiny)", "Boys & Girls" and her EP A." --> Maybe add the release years for these?
• "Platinum" --> "platinum"
• "The boy walks through the stars whilst Hamasaki sings the song, and has another shot of Hamasaki singing the song" --> Too repetitive
• "a self-titled DVD" --> Year?
• "Super Eurobeat Presents Ayu-ro Mix" --> Year?
• "that being" --> "being"
• "It has been performed on one live event" --> "It has been performed at one live event"
• Check out Reference #44
• There are way too many references in the "Release history" section; plus I don't think you have to list out all of these countries, and only one source should suffice anyway
  • I understand your point, and it's probably the only time I'll do doubled-up citations, but each citation of the countries are different releases with track lists. Plus, I think it's fine considering that an example such as S&M (song) has such a format (though it's not an excuse to do it in future articles, just ones like this).
    • @Carbrera: My apologizes for the late comment; I would have finished in a day or two, but have been so busy. In saying that, I have finished all the requirements . Thank you for the review. CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 05:16, 20 September 2016 (UTC)