Talk:The Incredibles/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: TonyTheTiger (talk · contribs) 11:48, 27 July 2013 (UTC)

I'll do this review.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 11:48, 27 July 2013 (UTC)

• While you await my comments, you may want to add some Best Ten lists content. Can you find something like this for 2004. If not find some lists like this. Also note that it was on at least 4 top 10 lists of the decade.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 11:58, 27 July 2013 (UTC)
• The external links tool to the right says there are at least 5 external links that are at issue.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 11:58, 27 July 2013 (UTC)
  • But Compliance with the External links guideline is not a GA requirement. According to this, "Feel free to tag a linkfarm whenever you see one, but it is not usually appropriate to consider the contents of the External links, Further reading, or See also sections when deciding whether the article meets the GA criteria, because these sections are not mentioned in the GA criteria. EditorEat ma talk page up, scotty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 14:16, 27 July 2013 (UTC)
    • That tool is checking the external links in your footnotes. This is a matter of whether your WP:ICs provide WP:V. This is well within WP:WIAGA.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:24, 27 July 2013 (UTC)

Alright i added a few lists, but what exactly am i supposed to do with the references? Koala15 (talk) 14:35, 27 July 2013 (UTC)

Well it looks like the references have been fixed thanks to Carniolus. Koala15 (talk) 15:48, 29 July 2013 (UTC)

WP:LEAD

• Restructure or split 1st sentence of the 3rd paragraph to only use one and.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:13, 29 July 2013 (UTC)
• Is 631 domestic or worldwide.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:13, 29 July 2013 (UTC)

Plot

• 1st para last sentence. Limit yourself to one and per sentence. (restructure or split).--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:30, 29 July 2013 (UTC)
• 4th paragraph - Name the island one of the times.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:30, 29 July 2013 (UTC)
  • N--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 22:43, 5 August 2013 (UTC)
• 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence again winnow down the ands.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:30, 29 July 2013 (UTC)
• Split "Later, Mirage, annoyed with Syndrome's selfishness, releases Bob and informs him that his family is alive, before Helen appears and races off with Bob to find the children when they are spotted by security." split after alive.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:30, 29 July 2013 (UTC)

Cast

• Violet's description is too long, comparatively. End it after force shield.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:34, 29 July 2013 (UTC)
• Can you shorten Jack-Jack's too.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:34, 29 July 2013 (UTC)

Alright, i think i fixed it all. Koala15 (talk) 19:02, 29 July 2013 (UTC)

Animation

• " but also voluminous amounts of even more complication. "-->" but also lots of other complications."--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 07:10, 30 July 2013 (UTC)
  • Would many be better than lots of?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:05, 30 July 2013 (UTC)

Music

• Don't link Michael Giacchino twice.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 07:10, 30 July 2013 (UTC)
  • You only need his first name once too.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:08, 30 July 2013 (UTC)
• Please clarify which Best scores it won. The way it was written you would think it won Grammy best score, but it was only nominated and won in a different category. Clear all this up.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 07:10, 30 July 2013 (UTC)
  • I meant to name some of the film societies and such that awarded it best score, then state is was grammy nominated for best score and then the thing you adde that it won a different category.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:08, 30 July 2013 (UTC)

Alright, i fixed it. Koala15 (talk) 14:20, 30 July 2013 (UTC)

Themes

• Is that whole final paragraph cited by the ending footnote? The first sentence needs to be clearly cited with an WP:IC, imo.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 16:03, 30 July 2013 (UTC)

It looks like someone else fixed it already. Koala15 (talk) 17:49, 30 July 2013 (UTC)

Release

• I am not sure whether the box office numbers belong here or in the later section. What is your thinking on this?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:18, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
• "the others being Up and Brave"-->"the others ({{asof}}) being Up and Brave"--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:18, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
  • You need the lower case parameter.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 22:49, 5 August 2013 (UTC)
• delink 2nd Boundin'--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:18, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
• highest-selling DVD leads me to wonder about its rentals figures.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:18, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
• how did its sales rank for the decade?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:18, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
• Sales compared to other Pixar?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:18, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
• Is there such a term as widely-issued for the VHS sentence?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:18, 2 August 2013 (UTC)

Critical response

• "the fifteenth most highly rated animated film of all time" needs an as of somewhere as well.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:34, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
  • Use the {{asof}} template.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 15:35, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
    • Need lower case parameter.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 22:53, 5 August 2013 (UTC)
• I think you should mention Travers with the first Rolling Stone comment instead of later.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:34, 2 August 2013 (UTC)--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 15:35, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
  • Now in the second link you can just use his last name. No publication is necessary unless it is different from before.
• I am surprised that with 231 Rotten tomato reviewers, the text only includes two reviewers with linked names. Can you provide some more comments from people the reader has heard of. Did anyone notable enough for his own article pan the movie?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:34, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
  • N--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 22:56, 5 August 2013 (UTC)

Box office

• The word domestic needs to appear early in this section.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:50, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
• Did the film set any records for how wide it opened?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:56, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
• second highest-grossing 2004 animated film behind Shrek 2 needs an WP:IC.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:53, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
• TV content needs WP:ICs.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:50, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
• TV content needs ratings.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 12:50, 2 August 2013 (UTC)
  • I removed the TV premiere content cause it was impossible to find sources for. Koala15 (talk) 00:02, 6 August 2013 (UTC)

I cannot find any DVD sales or anything like that, but i think i fixed most of what you mentioned. Koala15 (talk) 14:43, 2 August 2013 (UTC)

Add {{personality rights}} to File:Brad bird cropped 2009.jpg.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 15:15, 4 August 2013 (UTC)

Is there anything else that needs to be fixed? Koala15 (talk) 14:29, 4 August 2013 (UTC)

• Above it seems like you have ignored my feedback to your responses.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 15:19, 4 August 2013 (UTC)

No i did not ignore them i just can't do some of them, Like i can't find the DVD sales or which awards the score won. Koala15 (talk) 15:21, 4 August 2013 (UTC)

Ok i think i fixed most of it, tell me what i missed. Koala15 (talk) 15:41, 4 August 2013 (UTC)

• It would be easiest, if you put a single line response after each individual thing that you can't do. I am sure you can do some, so it is difficult for me to assess the situation.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 22:58, 5 August 2013 (UTC)

Ok to answer that i think i have covered everything that i can. Koala15 (talk) 00:06, 6 August 2013 (UTC)

At least two of the above items are not a matter of research (Travers and island).--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 15:54, 6 August 2013 (UTC)

The "island" is mentioned several times in the 4th paragraph and i fixed the Travers comment. Koala15 (talk) 17:08, 6 August 2013 (UTC)

I was thinking that the island is a confusing referent. I got confused. Wouldn't it better to use the name of the island without the word island in later uses?--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 02:50, 8 August 2013 (UTC)

Yeah, i fixed it. Koala15 (talk) 03:11, 8 August 2013 (UTC)

I am PASSING the article now.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/WP:FOUR/WP:CHICAGO/WP:WAWARD) 23:52, 11 August 2013 (UTC)