Talk:The Boat Race 1875/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Seattle (talk · contribs) 22:08, 2 January 2015 (UTC)

Comments

• File:SirJosephWilliamChitty.jpg: The file page needs to describe why it's PD in the United States, and the source URL could be more specific.

  Not my area at all. I can either just remove the image, replace it with one that satisfies your licensing requirements or you could update the licence. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

  • I've updated both files, and after inspection they've both lapsed into the public domain in the US. Both are fine for usage. As a side, the licensing requirements aren't mine, they're the Commons, of which I have authority under 6(a) of the good article criteria. Seattle (talk) 13:11, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

    I apologise, my wording was lax, for "your" requirements, read "the requirements that are expected that I am entirely unaware of...." Thanks again. The Rambling Man (talk) 22:18, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• Dodd, Christopher (1983) isn't used in the text, and should be removed from the bibliography as such

  Yep, done. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• The lead needs to better summarize the entire article. In particular, a sentence or quote on the "crews" section would work well, along with a sentence on the race's progression.

  I had a go. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• Overuse of parentheses in the second paragraph of the "Background" section; some of these could be clauses, as their information is subordinate to the sentence's main focus.

  Some claused. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• The race was umpired by Joseph William Chitty who had rowed for Oxford twice in 1849 (in the March and December races) and the 1852 race, while the starter was Edward Searle can you remove the passive in this sentence entirely, and merge it with the second paragraph? To something like: "Joseph William Chitty, who had rowed for Oxford twice in 1849 (in the March and December races) and in 1852, umpired the race, while Edward Searle started it."

  I dislike "started it" immensely, but have made a minor rephrase. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• Mix of "who had rowed" and "who rowed"

  Unmixed. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• Cambridge were coached [...] Oxford's coaches were... repetitious prose here; I would eliminate the passive for one of the sentences

  That would make it even more repetitious, surely? The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• The race commenced at 1.13pm, colon and a space needed here per MOS:TIME

  Now attempted to be compliant with that particularly grotesque mandate in the MOS. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• and started to be caught by Craven Steps. some ambiguity here; is this a person ... or a place? If it's a place, can you clarify where this is, as I don't see it on the map?

  No ambiguity as Craven Steps isn't mentioned in the crew line up. We don't have an article on this, nor is it on the map, but I've added an approximate distance along the course to the prose. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• It was later noted that this isn't needed; see WP:It should be noted. Seattle (talk) 22:08, 2 January 2015 (UTC)

  Reworded, but the point is it isn't "it should be noted" it was that it was noted after the event had concluded... The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• Oxford went into the race without a win since the 1869 race. In a race ... too many races in a short span

  Fixed. The Rambling Man (talk) 22:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

• (in the March and December races) and the 1852 race was the umpire for the race too many races in a short span

  Reworded a bit. The Rambling Man (talk) 22:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

Thanks Seattle, very much appreciated. I've responded inline to your comments. The Rambling Man (talk) 10:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

Addressed bits I'd missed (?) The Rambling Man (talk) 22:21, 3 January 2015 (UTC)

I added those after I reread the article. Thank you; passing. Seattle (talk) 00:45, 4 January 2015 (UTC)