Talk:Roots to Riches/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: MaranoFan (talk · contribs) 20:36, 26 October 2023 (UTC)

I'll get this review done as well to thank you for your incredible and swift review for "My Little Love". Do not worry about getting to addressing the review comments right away and take all the time you need depending on any IRL stuff going on!--NØ 20:36, 26 October 2023 (UTC)

• "The program included a compilation of interviews with key people that have been instrumental to the trajectory of her success over the course of several years." - The two sentences preceding this one are in present tense so you could make this one too.
• "A celebration of the singer's 39th birthday" - Avoid "the singer" and maybe say "Velasquez's" instead
• "Raul Mitra served as the music director, with guests stars Pilita Corrales, Jose Mari Chan, Dingdong Dantes, Pops Fernandez, and Dennis Trillo, and a special appearance by her former competition rival Eva Castillo." - This makes it sound like the guest stars also served as musical directors. How about ". Raul Mitra served as the music director, with guest appearances from Pilita Corrales, Jose Mari Chan, Dingdong Dantes, Pops Fernandez, and Dennis Trillo and a special appearance by her former competition rival Eva Castillo."
• "In 1984, at fourteen, she auditioned for the reality television series" - Maybe "In 1984, aged fourteen, she auditioned for the reality television series"
• "Raul Mitra was chosen as the musical director" - Maybe say "Raul Mitra was the musical director" as it is not clear who is doing the choosing.
• There is another tense switch in the first two sentences of the synopsis section: "The special began with (past tense) ... It opens with (present tense)". Maybe stick to one. Also, these are similar starts to both sentences so you can maybe avoid the "opens with" bit altogether.
• "individuals that have supported her when she was still competing" - Change to "individuals that supported her when she was still competing"
• "where she was discovered by Henares; and Jose Mari Chan" - The semicolon (;) should probably just be a comma here.
• "Castillo made a special appearance and performed a medley of OPM songs with the singer" - Avoid "the singer" here as well

Great article and this is now  On hold. On a different note, I have this FAC which will need a third support before I am allowed to make another nomination so I would appreciate any help with that (I'm trying to get one more FAC in before the year ends, lol).--NØ 05:14, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

Thanks very much MaranoFan! I have actioned all your comments as suggested. Thanks for the thorough review. Also, that's 2 GAN reviews in a row, and I am very much appreciative of your time and efforts. I will def post my comments in your FAC soon, sounds like you're on a roll (as you always are) :) Pseud 14 (talk) 15:49, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

Thank you very much. That would be a great help. Always a pleasure to read your incredible articles so I must say it is not a chore to review these at all! This one now ✓ Passes.--NØ 15:55, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.