Talk:R3.0 (concert)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Grnrchst (talk · contribs) 16:53, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

Lead

• "recording artist" Not singer?

Changed to singer Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

Background and development

• "will be held" Should be "would be held"
• "She revealed that rehearsals [...]" This sentence is quite long and could be broken up a little.

Done Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

• "to the star she is today" Feel like calling her a "star" in wikivoice might be a bit non-neutral. Neither of the cited sources use that term. Consider rewriting this bit.

Revised Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

• "She previewed that the set for each night would be different" Previewed?

Revised Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

Synopsis and reception

Synopsis

• "She stood for several seconds prior to" She stood?

• Spotcheck: Source doesn't clarify, can't find any mention of her standing several seconds before the song.

• "Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" followed which she sang while performing a choreography." Rewrite to: "She followed with a performance of Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff", which she sang while performing the choreography."

Done Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

• Spotcheck:

  "From the stunning opener that featured the backing vocals of rising singer Lara Maigue, a guitar riff reminiscent of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” caught fans by surprise as Velasquez abandoned her feathered coat for a sparkling red and black piece that shimmered under warm lights as she sang the lyrics to Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff” over the heavy riff."

  No mention of choreography, but strangely the detail about the Metallica riff is omitted from our article?

I thought about adding it, but then "reminiscent" doesn't actually affirm it is indeed an interpolation of that song/riff/sound. I am also not a Metallica fan so my attempts at actually comparing the riff would be futile. Pseud 14 (talk) 18:17, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

• "Velasquez interacting with the concertgoers at the audience section" How did she interact with them? What was this "audience section"?

Revised Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

• Spotcheck:

  "Velasquez said, inviting the audience to pick up a copy of the record before performing the first single off the album"

  So she was doing promo for the album.

• "The next segment saw Velasquez performing "Urong Sulong" as drag queens dressed in her notable gowns and ensembles moved around her."

• Spotcheck:

  “I think there are a lot of people who do not know that I am a balladeer. They keep asking me for songs that are not my forte or genre,” Velasquez opened up after warming the hearts of the audience with a series of ballads and sharing a colorful moment with the LGBT community with “Urong-Sulong” onstage.

  No mention of drag queens in gowns.

• "The R3.0 ballad "The First Man in My Life" was mashed with Dan Fogelberg's "Leader of the Band" and were performed on the setlist with Velasquez dedicating the songs to her late father."

• Spotcheck:

  "Velasquez saved her tribute to her father “The First Man in My Life,” a song Alcasid had written for her for later. Through her tears, she kept her composure as the powerful song moved the arena."

  No mention of it being "mashed" with Leader of the Band, nor does it mention any of the other songs in the set being dedicated to her father.

• "During Hillsong United's "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)", she kneeled onstage while performing the gospel song"

• Spotcheck:

  "The spectacle continued with “Oceans” and Michael Bolton’s “Go the Distance” before Velasquez took a breather for her encore “What Kind of Fool Am I."

  No mention of kneeling on stage

• "After the song ended, she bowed and thanked the audience before exiting the stage."

• Spotcheck: Can't find anything on this.

Thanks for raising this one. I have replaced it with the referenced media itself (filing in the gaps). Sourced to Cite AV media notes, which is generally used for credits/personnel, concert booklets/programs/setlist, or in plot and setting sections of films/tv series. Similar examples for events include [1] [2] [3]. I believe this is also similar to film articles using MOS:PLOT or WP:PLOTCITE where it does not need to be sourced with in-line citations, as it is generally assumed that the work/media itself is the primary source for the plot summary Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

Thanks for catching this! Citing the AV media works nicely, I was just confused at how these details ended up in there when they weren't in the written Billboard source. -- Grnrchst (talk) 18:52, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

Reception

• The reception part could be split into its own section.

Done Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

• Spotchecks verified the direct quotes.
• No need for the duplicate citations. (Citing the same source sequentially, without any other sources in between)

In my experience, we are to source each instance where a direct quotation is used. Removed duplicate citations otherwise. Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

• Nominations for awards at mentioned, but not whether or not she won. Consider including a detail about that.

I believe stating that she was nominated means she did not win (as far as awards for singers/actors are concerned). I don't think it is warranted to mention that she lost. Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

Set list

• No notes.

Personnel

• No notes.

Checklist

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):

   Couple grammatical mistakes here and there, noted above. Grammatical issues dealt with.

   b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a. (reference section):

   b. (citations to reliable sources):

   c. (OR):

   The "Synopsis" section is full of moments that fail verification on a spotcheck of the cited source. This entire section needs to be brought in line with the cited source, or other sources that fill in the gaps found, before I can think about passing this. Issue fixed by citing the AV media of the concert, rather than the write-up which didn't include the details.

   d. (copyvio and plagiarism):

   Earwig only flags direct, attributed quotes and the song list.

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a. (major aspects):

   b. (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

   There's one instance of a non-neutral wording, that's unsupported by the source. It's easily fixed. Issue dealt with.

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

   Last revert was in March 2023.

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

   Promotional poster is fair use. Photograph of the Mall is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Photographs of concert are licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

   b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   Poster and photographs of the concert could do with alt text.

7. Overall:

   Pass/fail:

   This article is quite good, for the most part, but the cases of OR in the "Synopsis" section are currently holding it back. I'm holding this review for now, as I think these can be quickly and easily fixed. But I can't think about passing the review until this section has been dealt with accordingly. --Grnrchst (talk) 16:53, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

Thanks for taking up this review Grnrchst. I have provided my responses, including the concern you have raised regarding programme/synopsis. Let me know if they have been addressed to your satisfaction or if I may have missed anything. Pseud 14 (talk) 17:56, 26 June 2023 (UTC)

Thank you for addressing these issues so quickly! My concerns have been addressed and I'm more than happy to pass this now. Excellent work on this! I will certainly be checking out more of Velasquez's work in the near future. --Grnrchst (talk) 18:55, 26 June 2023 (UTC)