Talk:Pyramids (song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Teman13 (talk · contribs) 19:28, 7 July 2012 (UTC)

I love Frank Ocean, so I'll happily be reviewing this article! teman13 ^{TALKCONTRIBUTIONS} 19:28, 7 July 2012 (UTC)

Is this song a single or just a song, because if it is a single then it automatically fails WP:SINGLE due to the fact that the article doesn't give a release history. teman13 ^{TALKCONTRIBUTIONS} 22:25, 7 July 2012 (UTC)

Lead

• American and singer-songwriter needs to be unlinked, never underestimate the intelligence of our readers.
• The soundcloud sentance needs to be removed because it really isn't relevant and is WP:Fancruft.
• The music video was directed by Nabil Elderkin and featured an orange car with an atmospheric background, with the song playing over it. Again don't underestimate the intelligence of our readers, I'm quite sure they know that songs play during music videos, that part needs to be removed.

Background

• On June 8, 2012, Ocean posted onto his tumblr a "cryptic" nearly two-minute video, promoting an unknown project which was titled Channel Orange.The clip mostly just "lingers lovingly over an expensive-looking car", which also contained new music. The song was a "lushly produced, drifting slow jam that Ocean’s probably made 50 or so times by now." Later that day Ocean posted the full song used in the video, titled "Pyramids" onto his Soundcloud account.

This is very confusing. You need to summerize this better, explain that the video was a trailer for Channel Orange and remove the lushly produced, drifting slow jam that Ocean’s probably made 50 or so times by now. as that makes things even more confusing.

• The song was Ocean's first new single in over a year, which was described as him coming "back into the spotlight in a huge way." The track was labeled indicating that it was to be the ninth track on the album. It was later announced that the Channel Orange project was actually his debut album and that he would launch his corresponding tour. The release of the album's tracklist confirmed both the track placement of the track and the appearance of it on the album.Minsker, Evan (2012-06-23). "Frank Ocean Reveals Album Art, Tracklist". Pitchfork Media. Retrieved 2010-10-26. The following day Ocean posted "playing ‘Pyramids’ on the road is gonna be my favourite part" on his Twitter account, speaking about his promotional tour.

First of all there seems to be a reference that hasn't been formatted correctly. secondly I understand that you are trying to have a good Prose, but sentences like The track was labeled indicating that it was to be the ninth track on the album. is not only irrelavant to the SONG, but is very confusing as you could have simply said, The track was the ninth song on the album's tracklist. That needs and to be removed. and so does the release of the album's tracklist confirmed both the track placement of the track and the appearance of it on the album.

Verdict

I would normally try to continue, but after skimming the article, it has a lot of problems mainly Wikipedia:QUOTE, your using quotes improperly and way too much. There's also a lot of unnecessary material. I would suggest a peer review or a copy edit before you try at another review. teman13 ^{TALKCONTRIBUTIONS} 23:20, 7 July 2012 (UTC)

Just fail the article then. Bruce Campbell (talk) 23:24, 7 July 2012 (UTC)

If you would like I'll put the article on hold for one week and you can fix stuff up and I'll be happy to review it again. teman13 ^{TALKCONTRIBUTIONS} 23:26, 7 July 2012 (UTC)