Talk:Performance Review/GA1
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Ruby2010 in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 04:24, 11 September 2012 (UTC)
I'll take this one. Ruby 2010/2013 04:24, 11 September 2012 (UTC)
Comments edit
- "...about their romantic relationship from the previous episode." - I prefer the link be used with " previous episode", not just "episode"
- onset -> on-set
- "Dwight's fitness orb" - is orb the right word? I thought it was a fitness ball? Or is that what Dwight calls it?
- "...much to Michael's chagrin" - is chagrin the right word here? Anger? Displeasure?
- Perhaps you want to note that Wilmore guest starred in a previous episode?
- "...one of the very first season two episodes aired." -> one of the very first episodes of the second season.
- "When the episode was being formulated..." - the episode - Performance Review (reminds people what ep you're talking about)
- rehearsed "about ten time" - ten times?
- initial lines give to Steve Carell and Melora Hardin -> given
- I noted in the production section that you use the crew names inconsistently (Krasinksi but then Rainn Wilson, etc.). I think it would look better if you use their surnames (unless they aren't mentioned previously, like Angela Kinsey)
- Hardin recalled that is was extremely difficult -> it was?
- Link for The Office Cast (2007). The Office Convention 2007 Cast Q&A. (Interview). The Office: Overtime: NBC.?
- Link Oscar
- When was the Seitz review published? I'm curious because it mentions the best episodes of the series
- "In fact, Wilson later claimed that Dwight's line about laser tag caused "quite a buzz" online" - not a fan of the "in fact" part
- see 4 September 4, 2012 and 4 September 2012 (use consistent formatting)
Mostly minor issues, so nice work. I got some of them, but for others I didn't want to change anything without hearing a possible response back first. I'll place it on hold for seven days. Ruby 2010/2013 03:53, 12 September 2012 (UTC)