Talk:Out of the Woods/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:50, 27 December 2020 (UTC)
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I will start reviewing this today or tomorrow, depending on how occupied I am with my job during the day. --K. Peake 08:50, 27 December 2020 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
edit- Recording date is unsourced
- "Taylor Swift, taken from her fifth studio album 1989." → "Taylor Swift from her fifth studio album, 1989 (2014)."
- "Swift was inspired by" → "For the song, Swift was inspired by"
- "Co-written and co-produced by" → "Written and produced by both" because "co-produced" makes it sound like the two were the co-producers
- ""Out of the Woods" is a" → "it is a"
- "song featuring heavy" → "song that features heavy"
- "for 1989 on October 14, 2014, by" → "for the album on October 14, 2014, through"
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- Because using "by" here would be make the lead too repetitive, as that is used for the other release here where it is most appropriate. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- Target single to Single (music)
- "when Republic Records in partnership with Big Machine released it to US radio stations." → "being released to US radio stations by Republic Records in partnership with Big Machine."
"Prior to this release," → "Prior to the release,"
- Wikilink music video
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- Yes, but it is fine to wikilink terms such as this where doing so provides more context and isn't considered overly obvious like wikilinking Canada. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- What do you mean by "overly obvious"? Pretty sure we do not link song and studio album for the same reason to not link music video, HĐ (talk) 03:38, 30 December 2020 (UTC)
- No, if you look through articles, the majority of them do not link those terms but do link music video. --K. Peake 07:38, 30 December 2020 (UTC)
- Mention info about the video's synopsis
- Not necessary for a video that did not receive a lot of coverage, HĐ (talk) 12:53, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- Isn't it notable to mention what happens in the video since those details are important to readers? --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "from contemporary critics, who lauded its production" → "from contemporary music critics, who lauded the production" with the target
- "The single peaked at" → "The song peaked at"
- "by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)." → "in the US by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)."
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- No, as readers may be misguided into believeing this is in reference to North, Central or South America, never mind the country of the US. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "the top 20 on charts of" → "the top 20 of charts in"
- Target certifications to Music recording certification
- Why have you not mentioned any live performance(s) in the lead?
-
- That is correct, but can't you add a sentence mentioning a live performance or two at the end of the lead
Background and production
edit- "of her previous albums and incorporate a" → "of her previous releases and incorporate"
- I don't get the big deal of changing "albums" to "releases", HĐ (talk) 12:56, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- It reads less repetitively; you did this for "Welcome to New York", anyway. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "her fifth studio album," → "her fifth studio album"
- "Swift's headlining world tour in support of her fourth studio album Red." → "Swift's the Red Tour in support of her fourth studio album Red (2012)."
- "who co-produced two songs" → "who contributed production to two songs"
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- It is being more specific because otherwise readers may think he co-produced the songs. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- Wikilink bonus track per MOS:LINK2SECT
- "to create a " big" → "to create a "big"
- "voice memo containing the lyrics" → "voice memo containing them" with the target
- "The song was the first time" → "The song marked the first time"
- "Antonoff spoke of this working experience with Swift:" → "Antonoff spoke of his experience working with Swift:"
- "The final product of" → "The final version of"
- "was written and produced by" → "was written and produced by both"
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- To specify that the two wrote and produced it, rather than leading some readers into being confused about the credits being respective or not. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "by Laura Sisk assisted" → "by Laura Sisk, assisted"
- "and Sam Holland assisted" → "and Sam Holland, assisted"
Music and lyrics
editAudio sample should be aligned to the left because the article's media should be on different sides each time it is present
- All of the appropriate refs should be added to the sample's text
- Write out about the synthesizers in the prose too
- "Critics describe "Out of the Woods" as"→ "Critics described "Out of the Woods" as"
"song with a prominent" → "song, with prominent"
- "considers it an" → "considered it an"
- "by the rock band" → "by rock band"
- "repeats the lyric," → "repeats the line"
"albeit with a slim chance." → "despite a slim chance."
- [18] does not source that she sings the lyrics on the second verse
- "she and her lover had done:" → "she and her lover had made:"
- Wikilink snowmobile
"accident that requires one" → "accident that required one"
It says the lyrics were inspired by real-life though, plus Swift sings about remembering the incident? --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "Swift told that the lyrics" → "Swift explained that the lyrics"
- "The snowmobile accident in the bridge was" → "The snowmobile accident was"
- Target to Tabloid journalism should be on tabloid journalists instead
Release
edit- "on Good Morning America." → "on Good Morning America (GMA)."
"On the radio program" → "While speaking to"
Keep this as it is then; I just thought the radio program introduction was unnecessary at first but it is fine. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "Swift announced on Good Morning America" → "Swift announced on GMA"
- Wikilink music video
- "broadcast on December 31, 2015." → "broadcast on December 31."
- Target single to Single (music)
- "Republic Records in partnership with Big Machine released" → "Republic Records, in partnership with Big Machine, released"
- [29] should be at the end of the sentence before [30] because it is not coming after any form of punctuation where invoking a ref is appropriate
- "to Italian radio on" → "to Italian radio stations on"
Critical and reception
edit- Retitle to Reception because this has a para that consists fully of sources that provide rankings
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- That is true, but it should be retitled to reception to separate these from reviews because there is no accolades or a similar sub-section here. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- I mean the lists are from critical sources too; wouldn't "Reception" also has to cover commercial reception? HĐ (talk) 03:38, 30 December 2020 (UTC)
- No it does not, as there are two paras for commercial info so that can be its own section and reception is often used as a title in this context. --K. Peake 07:38, 30 December 2020 (UTC)
- "received positive reviews from music critics." → "was met with positive reviews from music critics." with the target
- "its lyrics describing a troubled relationship proved that" → "its lyrics that describe a troubled relationship prove"
- The latter is more clunky with two "that"s
- Maybe implement the above change but switch the start to "Lipshutz noted while" since that doesn't read clunkily? --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "well-known country sound showing" → "well-known country sound for showing"
- "Mikael Wood writing for the Los Angeles Times deemed" → "Mikael Wood, writing for the Los Angeles Times, deemed"
- "Annie Galvin called it" → "Annie Galvin called the track"
- Wikilink love song
- Remove target on new wave
- "climatic ending: "they" → "climatic ending, writing that "they"
- "for 2014's Best Breakdown."" → "for 2014's Best Breakdown"." per MOS:QWQ
- "NME writer Hannah Mylrea placed" → Mylrea placed"
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- This is only two sections later so is not needed; however, I noticed you misspelt here surname in the music and lyrics section which needs fixing. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "for its "anthemic," → "for the "anthemic,"
"feeling that the production overwhelms" → "feeling that it overwhelms"
Commercial performance
edit- This section should be in-between the Music video and Live performances and covers sections
- ""Out of the Woods" debuted on the" → ""Out of the Woods" entered the"
- "which later became its peak position." → "which was its peak position."
- "It debuted atop the Billboard Digital Songs, a chart focusing on digital sales," → "The song debuted atop the Billboard Digital Songs chart,"
- "her eight number-one chart entry." → "her eighth number one entry."
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- The eighth part still needs fixing though and remove the word chart. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
"The song was" → "The song was ultimately"
- "for selling over 1,000,000 units." → "for selling 1,000,000 units in the US."
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- See earlier comment. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "The single was a number-one hit" → "The song was a number one hit"
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- Change single to song either way. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- Can't seem to load the Israel chart position from the archive, or is my laptop just slow?
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- Good, go for it! --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "within the top ten on record charts in" → "within the top 10 of record charts in" per MOS:NUM
- [43] should be solely at the end of the sentence before [44] per earlier comment
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- It is definitely a lot smoother/less clunky. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "it peaked at number 19 on the Australian Singles Chart[45]" → "the song peaked at number 19 on the ARIA Singles Chart,[45]" with the target
- WP:NOTBROKEN, HĐ (talk) 13:11, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- You still need to fix he name of the chart and change "it" to "the song". --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "despite failing to chart." → "despite failing to chart in the country."
Music video
edit- "It premiered on" → "It premiered via"
- "in New Zealand in the mountains of Queenstown and on Bethells Beach." → "in the mountains of Queenstown in New Zealand and on the country's Bethells Beach."
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- Fix the rest, though. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- "interpreting the title literally." → "interpreting the song's title literally."
- "with the caption" → "with the caption,"
- "chased by a" → "being chased by a"
- "as she struggles to escape as animate roots" → "as Swift struggles to escape while animate roots"
- "At the end of the video, the woods disappear as she finds" → "At the end of the music video, the woods disappear while Swift finds"
- "in the booklet of the 1989 album." → "in the booklet of 1989."
- Why is the vast majority of the synopsis para not sourced by [28]?
"the subject of the song" → "the subject of "Out of the Woods""
- "commented on the video's message: "this serves" → "commented that its message "serves"
- "one in particular."" → "one in particular"."
Live performances and covers
edit- "performed "Out of the Woods" on" → "performed "Out of the Woods" for"
- The name of the sessions should not be in speech marks
- Wikilink Yahoo!
- "She then performed it on Good Morning America," → "Swift performed the song for GMA"
- Nova 96.9 should not be italicised
- "Rolling Stone praised the" → "John Blistein from Rolling Stone praised the"
- "as the opening act" → "as the opening number"
- "a tour she launched in" → a tour Swift launched in"
- Target acoustic to Acoustic music
- "on the shows" → "at the shows"
- Remove target on rock
- "said that Adams's cover" → "said that the cover version"
Credits and personnel
edit- Recording and mixing locations should be listed at the top
- Please see [1] and re-write everything accordingly
- Make sure to use
{{spaced ndash}}
so there is the right space between credits and personnel - Wikilink Taylor Swift
Charts
edit- As I said earlier, the Israel chart position doesn't seem to show up from the archive for me?
Certifications
edit- Good
See also
edit- Good
References
edit- Copyvio score looks too high at 59.7%; cut quoting to fix this
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- No it is not with the overquoting, and copyvio is still too high for Billboard. --K. Peake 14:37, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
- Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
- I am not too sure about the reliability of ref 2 per WP:RSP, or is it reliable due to being published by the Recording Academy?
WP:OVERLINK of Billboard on refs 8, 24, 25, 32, 40, 48, 59 and 65
I explained this overlink issue in Talk:Welcome to New York (song)/GA1, HĐ (talk) 13:24, 29 December 2020 (UTC)
WP:OVERLINK of USA Today on ref 11WP:OVERLINK of Rolling Stone on refs 12, 21, 37, 51 and 62- Sydney Morning Herald → The Sydney Morning Herald on ref 16
- MTV → MTV News on refs 23 and 27
- radioairplay.fm → Radio Airplay SSL on ref 31
WP:OVERLINK of New York on ref 36- Ref 39 needs to be filled in with Billboard
- I have already commented about ref 42, but how about replacing with a different archive if it's not only me who the archive doesn't work for?
- Cite Stuff.co.nz as publisher instead for ref 49 and target to Stuff (website)
- Ref 50 is a duplicate of ref 28
- Cite Elle for ref 52 with the target
WP:OVERLINK of MTV News on refs 56 and 60- WP:OVERLINK of Time on refs 57 and 63
WP:OVERLINK of The Hollywood Reporter on ref 58- MOS:CAPS issues with refs 61 and 81
WP:OVERLINK of Slant Magazine on ref 66WP:OVERLINK of The A.V. Club on ref 68
External links
editIsn't the song on MetroLyrics to add to the links?
- Good
Final comments and verdict
edit- On hold following me completing my second review for you; good luck with fixing the issues soon! --K. Peake 09:29, 29 December 2020 (UTC)