Talk:On a Sunday/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kyle Peake (talk · contribs) 18:21, 7 June 2019 (UTC)Reply

Will have this completely reviewed by next week. It will mark the first GA of 2019 if I pass it! --Kyle Peake (talk) 18:21, 7 June 2019 (UTC)Reply

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Infobox and lead

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  • Ref is not needed
  Done
  • Ester Peony and Alexandru Șerbu should be listed as producers, since they are referenced as composing the track
The producers of the track are unknown. Composing is not producing, it can be writing notes on paper but not producing in a programm or something like that.
  • "Musically, "On a Sunday" is a mid-tempo blues" → "Musically, the track is a mid-tempo blues"
  Done
  • "lyrics discuss on a failed relationship and have Peony reflecting" → "lyrics discuss a failed relationship and include Peony reflecting" as the word on is not needed and include reads much better than have.
  Done
  • "represented Romania in the Eurovision Song Contest 2019 in Tel Aviv, Israel after" → "represented Romania in the Eurovision Song Contest 2019 in Tel Aviv, Israel, after" the sentence currently leads to confusion of whether Israel is the location or a represented countries, this will make it specific
  Done
  Done
  • "to a reported 100,000 euro" → "to a reported 100,000 euros"
  Done
  • "Music critics gave the song mixed reviews upon its release, praising its production,..." → "The track was met with mixed reviews from music critics upon its release, with some praising its production,..."
  Done
  • "was uploaded onto Cat Music's YouTube channel on 10 March 2019" → "was uploaded to Cat Music's YouTube channel on 10 March 2019"
  Done
  • "the clip shows the singer" → "the video shows Peony"
  Done

Background and composition

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  • "She subsequently had success in Romania" → "She subsequently achieved success in Romania" - the former reads weirdly
  Done
  • "while music was composed" → "while the music was composed"
  Done
  • Wiwibloggs should be italicized
Wiwibloggs is a website, not a publication in that sense. Even the title of its Wikipedia article is not italicized.
  • Last sentence belongs as the last sentence of the second para in the section
I disagree. The last paragraph talks about the remastered version and what was changed, then we say when it was released. I think it works fine as it stands right now.
  • "the remastered version of "On a Sunday" would eventually be released" → "the remastered version of "On a Sunday" was eventually released"
  Done
  • "on 10 March 2019 by Cat Music" → "on 10 March 2019 through Cat Music"
  Done
  • "replacing the song's previous version.[14]" → "replacing the previous version of the song.[14]"
  Done

Critical reception and plagiarism accusation

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  • Wiwibloggs should be italicized
See above
  • "the reviewers on the website" → "the reviewers of the website"
  Done
  • "set up a commission to analyze "On a Sunday"" → "set up a commission to analyze "On a Sunday" in February 2019"
  Done

Music video and promotion

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  • Image needs alt text
  Done
  • "As of late February 2019, filming" → "By late February 2019, filming"
  Done
  • "The clip was uploaded onto" → "The video was uploaded to"
  Done
  • "Music critics gave generally positive reviews upon the music video's release." → "The music video was released to generally positive reviews from critics." Writers of video reviews aren't always music critics.
  Done
  • "live during O melodie pentru Europa 2019 on 2 March 2019" → "live during O melodie pentru Europa 2019 on 2 March"
  Done
  • "she also appeared to sing the song" → "she appeared to sing the song" as the first song performance isn't on a Romanian show.
  Done
  • "as well as on Pro FM," → "alongside performances on Pro FM,"
  Done
  • "she performed at Eurovision pre-parties including Eurovision in Concert in Amsterdam and PreParty ES in Madrid.[32][33]" → "she performed at Eurovision pre-parties, including Amsterdam's Eurovision in Concert and PreParty ES in Madrid.[32][33]"
  Done

At Eurovision

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National selection

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  • "to select their entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019" → "for selection of their entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2019"
  Done
  • "rated all songs, revealing their 24 semi-finalists on 20 December" "rated all songs; their 24 semi-finalists were revealed on 20 December"
  Done
  Done
  • "praised the singer's performance" → "praised Peony's performance"
  Done

In Tel Aviv

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  Done
  • "are required" → "were required"
  Done
  • "marking their second and consecutive non-qualification" → "marking their second non-qualification, consecutive to the previous one"
  Done

Live performance and reception

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  • Image needs alt text
  Done
  • "the vision for the song's music video" → "the vision used for the song's music video"
  Done
  • "circa 100,000 euro" → "circa 100,000 euros"
  Done
  • "the first year for Romania to produce its own graphics" → "the first year that Romania produced its own graphics"
  Done
  • Overlinking on LED screens; remove the target
  Done
  • "ends with a brighter stage" → "ends with a brighter stage in comparison to the beginnin"
  Done
  • "was met with a generally positive response" → "was met with generally positive responses from critics"
  Done
  • Shouldn't ESCToday be capitalized, or is it a publisher?
It's a publisher I believe.

Points awarded to Romania

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  • "Romania placed 13th" → "Romania was placed 13th"
  Done
  • "added to 47" → "added up to 47"
  Done

Track listing

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  • Good

Release history

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  • Change territory to country
  Done
  • Use a ref col
  Done
  • Citations regarding the digital release should be used to clarify that it was released in various countries; see "Deep in Love"
Unfortunately, the ref is dead now, so I canged "Various" to just "Romania" as this is the only ref we have of that release.
Try the way back machine?

References

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  • Some say via YouTube whilst other say YouTube as publisher; change to one or the other for consistency
  Done I removed the usage of the "via" parametre
  • If you use via YouTube or just YouTube, do the same for the Facebook sources
  Done Same as above
  • Delete WikiLink for ref 48 as outside of that, you only have the publisher WikiLinked on the first usage of it
  Done
  • Rescued a few for you
Thank you :)

Final comments and verdict

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  • Didn't point it out every time as it comes up a lot, but punctuation inside/outside quotes is inconsistent. Either have ." or ". for consistency.
I now use ". everywhere. Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:55, 9 June 2019 (UTC)Reply
@Kyle Peake: I have reponded to all your comments... Thanks for your time... Greets; Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:55, 9 June 2019 (UTC)Reply
@Cartoon network freak: Are you sure you can't find who produced the song? Try looking at the credits on Tidal??? Kyle Peake (talk) 20:19, 9 June 2019 (UTC)Reply
@Kyle Peake: They don't show any credits on Tidal: [1] Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:49, 9 June 2019 (UTC)Reply
And there is no archive that can be used for the release of the original song in other countries... Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:50, 9 June 2019 (UTC)Reply
@Cartoon network freak: Looks good and if there's no producer that can be found then it can  Pass without one. Kyle Peake (talk) 21:15, 9 June 2019 (UTC)Reply