Talk:NMS Regele Ferdinand/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by L293D in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: L293D (talk · contribs) 19:51, 13 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

Very nice article - will be doing this in the next couple days. L293D ( • ) 19:51, 13 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

Lead

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  • Add a couple sentences about the laying down, launching, and commissioning after opening sentence.
    • That's not summarizing and would be redundant to the infobox and main body.
      • Any random FA (e.g. SMS Emden) will have a few sentences about that. IMHO, its helpful for readers to get an idea of the time period the boat was built in in the first sentences.

Background and design

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  • Add {{Main Article}} or {{See also}} to Regele Ferdinand-class destroyer
    • Why? It's linked in the lede
  • and the fire-control system was from Germany - remove "was".
    • Good idea
  • The Regele Ferdinand-class ships had an overall length of 101.9 metres (334 ft 4 in), had a beam of 9.6 metres - remove second had.
  • and a mean draught of - what does "mean" do here?
    • Average.
  • Merge sentence 2 and 3 in second para.
    • You want me to merge the sentence about the displacement and the one about the crew size together?
  • Link 8.8 cm Flak 18/36/37/41 at the end of 4th para.
    • Good catch.

Construction and Career

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  • named for King Ferdinand I of Romania, - named after King Ferdinand
  • laid down by Pattison[7] in June 1927 at their Naples, Italy, shipyard. - reword, reads confusingly.
  • The ship was assigned to the Destroyer Squadron - was there only one destroyer squadron in Romania?
    • Yep, only four destroyers total after these two were delivered.
  • Link Constanța.
    • It is on first use.
  • Link Crimean Offensive somewhere - that's what the boat did for most of its war service.
    • Linked in the lede in the sentence that starts "In early 1944..."
  • The phrase "the Romanians" comes up in two consecutive sentences in para 2 - change one to "Romanian Navy" or something similar.
    • Good idea.
  • On the nights of 22/23 and 24/25 June, Regele Ferdinand, Regina Maria and the flotilla leader Mărășești covered the laying of defensive minefields off Odessa. - remove "flotilla leader", already defined in preceding para.
    • That's the sister of Marasti, so not defined.
  • Adolf Hitler suspended the evacuation - might want to specify the city being evacuated.
    • Not just the city until later. Initially it was throughout the Crimea.
  • when she was discarded - to my knowledge, discarded is not a nautical term. Stricken might do better.
    • Perhaps, but discarded is what the official Romanian website translation used

Thanks for the review. See if my changes are satisfactory.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:43, 19 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

GA Progress

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Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.