Talk:Love Sex Aur Dhokha/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Yashthepunisher in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Krish! (talk · contribs) 13:56, 18 June 2018 (UTC)Reply


Lead
  • "Banerjee conceived the film after he found several video clips containing sexual content." Found where? This needs tweaking and some addition as the development section has plenty information.
Tweaked. The ref only says that he saw and came across the clips. Yashthepunisher (talk) 01:53, 23 June 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • Sentence placements are not proper. Maintain the order (conception, writing and filming).
Plot
  • "He hold auditions and meets Shruti, a young woman whom he chooses to be the leading actor." Something is not right.
Cast
  • Cite the names. You can use Bollywood Hungama's page.
Production
  • "Banerjee co-wrote the film with Kanu Behl, who later went on to direct Titli(2015)." There is no space between Titli and its year but it does not matter; remove this line. Also, the co-writer mention should be in the first paragraph.
  • "Banerjee approached Kapoor after they finished writing the script; he said Kapoor "readily agreed" to produce it.[1] In 2010, Kapoor launched ALT Entertainment and decided to release Love Sex Aur Dhokha under her banner." This should be the fist line of the second paragraph. Again, maintain the order (conception, writing and funding).Krish | Talk 15:06, 22 June 2018 (UTC)Reply
Krish! All done. Yashthepunisher (talk) 02:07, 23 June 2018 (UTC)Reply
Drive-by comments
  • Several reviews mention the film by its initialism LSD. Can this initialism be introduced somewhere earlier in the article? The lead could contain something like "also known by the initialism LSD". --Kailash29792 (talk) 05:26, 23 June 2018 (UTC)Reply
Done. Yashthepunisher (talk) 09:20, 23 June 2018 (UTC)Reply
Krish! Can you please revisit and mention other issues with the article, if there are any? Yashthepunisher (talk) 04:25, 25 June 2018 (UTC)Reply
Sorry! I got very busing during the weekend. Starting now.Krish | Talk 09:10, 25 June 2018 (UTC)Reply
Cating
  • Who is Sial?
  • Why casting section is filled with frivolous details? An ATM boy and stuff like that. Why not focus on my players?
Filming
  • The film consisted of three stories dealt with issues of honour killings, sexual exploitation and voyeurism.[17] The second story is based on diploma film footage that Banerjee had retrieved.[1] He said the three stories were connected; "the way we played with time, and cause and effect and the fundamental rule that every story has a beginning, a middle and an end". It suits in the Development section.
  • Banerjee and his team decided to cast newcomers and unknown professional actors. The film was made using guerrilla film-making techniques in locations in Mumbai by the director of photography Nikos Andritsakis. The first line should be the first line of Casting section while the second line should be the first line of the Filming section.
  • Love Sex aur Dhokha was the first Indian film to be shot in the digital format. Why not mention this in first paragrapgh of Filming section when you say it was shot in digital format?
  • Namrata Rao in small role should be in casting section too or you can say "several technicians acted in the film" without mentioning names in the Casting section.
  • Banerjee was inspired by the Tehelka sting operations for the third story of his film, which is about a sting operation on a pop star. Again, Development section.
  • According to Banerjee, several clichéd dialogues of Hindi cinema were used in the film to show a "mirror" because the "trajectory is very similar to a typical Bollywood film and yet very different". Same
Release
  • Banerjee said there is "nothing sexual about [the scene]". Is there a following quote of his? Because it feels weird to read. Was he against those blurry scenes and showed his unhappiness?
Mentioned the whole quote.
  • Okay! So the following sentence makes it clear he was unhappy with the decision. You should start this paragraph saying how the director was not happy when CBFC asked for cuts etc and then describe it.
  • Kapoor was in a "state of shock" after seeing the final cut of the film because the shaky camerawork and the stories affected her deeply. The censored version shocked her in bad way of the whole film's quality? It's confusing.
Kapoor was shocked because of the film's treatment, and not the censored version.
  • The trailers and promotional stuff should come before the CBFC stuff.
Reception
  • The number of quotes.....why not rewrite them?
  • Remove the last analysis, it is not a review.
  • Are you sure the film did not get any other awards and nominations?
Added two stardust wins.

That's it. The article is well-written. Well done Yashthepunisher!Krish | Talk 09:38, 25 June 2018 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for the review Krish!, I have hopefully resolved them all. Yashthepunisher (talk) 17:35, 25 June 2018 (UTC)Reply
I am sure the film received Best Film and Director in the Searchlight categories at the Stardust Awards so please mention that. Also the film had received six nominations at the 2011 Screen Awards. Add that and check for the others awards ceremonies too. Add them.Krish | Talk 01:09, 27 June 2018 (UTC)Reply
Added the searchlight award. But I feel mentioning all the nominations is not necessary. I have added the awards of all the ceremonies. Thanks for the review. Yashthepunisher (talk) 04:10, 27 June 2018 (UTC)Reply

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  
    B. MoS compliance:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:  
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:  
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  

Good work Yashthepunisher!Krish | Talk 01:09, 27 June 2018 (UTC)Reply