Talk:Love, Loss, and What I Wore/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 18:14, 18 October 2011 (UTC)

I should be able to get to this review by Friday or Saturday. Ruby comment! 18:14, 18 October 2011 (UTC)

Comments

• There's one dab link] and 2 deadlinks
  • dab fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 12:50, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
  • Swapped out dead links.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 13:07, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• "The show was initially presented as a part of the 2008 summer series at Guild Hall in East Hampton, NY," If it was part of the 2008 summer series, why does the infobox say it premiered in October 2009?
  • The 2009 date was the theatre premier date.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 17:23, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
  • Switched to Bridgehampton Community House date.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 17:26, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
  • The show website claims the October 1, 2009 date as its premier though.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 17:57, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• "It is expected to begin a national tour in the United States beginning the fall of 2011 in Chicago." Do you have a more specific date, considering it's fall currently? It looks like the show is currently running. Indicate this in lead?
  • Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 13:33, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• "...and she wrote the 2002 play Imaginary Friends, which fictionalizes the antagonistic relationship between Lillian Hellman and Mary McCarthy. Ephron sometimes co-authors screenplays with her sister, writer-producer Delia Ephron, including You've Got Mail (1998), Hanging Up (2000) and Bewitched (2005)." Source?
  • Refs added.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 13:47, 23 October 2011 (UTC)

• Fix the formatting on those refs (accessdates, italicize The new York Times etc). Ruby comment! 01:59, 24 October 2011 (UTC)

• Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:37, 24 October 2011 (UTC)

• "...Nora Ephron wrote the introduction to Beckerman's eponymous 1995 book" Add Beckerman's first name and red link (if you or someone plans to make an article on the author soon; otherwise might as well remove the red links)
  • It is not proper to use both first and last name throughout. Beckerman's first name has already been presented.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 13:51, 23 October 2011 (UTC)

• The first name was presented in the lead. You need to repeat it for the article body (look at virtually other article for examples). Ruby comment! 01:59, 24 October 2011 (UTC)

• Unless policy has changed, this is not the case. The only time that would be appropriate would be if the article were quite long (50-60 KB or more) with the name appearing late in the main text. In this case the article is only 17KB and the reappearance of the name is not that far from its introduction to the reader.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:47, 24 October 2011 (UTC)

• "She identified with the stories in the book because the book..." the book... the book (looks sloppy)
  • fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:04, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• "Once she decided to adapt the book into a play, she and her sister emailed 100 women for stories.[2]" Need to clarify this more. The source has a lot more to say about it
  • Not sure what you want, but I expanded it a little.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 17:20, 23 October 2011 (UTC)

• What women were emailed? Friends? Strangers? Celebrities? Ruby comment! 01:59, 24 October 2011 (UTC)

• Source does not say.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:40, 24 October 2011 (UTC)

• I always find it helpful to introduce people, so maybe you could add talk show host (or whatever she does now) for Rosie O'Donnell?
  • Clicking on her bio, it seems that she wears many hats that are not relevant here.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 14:18, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• The "Initial benefit productions" section makes it a little difficult to differentiate the various shows (you explain what Dress for Success is two or three sentences after its first mention). Are the middle sentences all part of the same show?
  • Connected the Dress for success concert and tried a tweak to clarify the linkage you questioned.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 15:27, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• WP:Overlink: Lucy DeVito
  • Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 15:21, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• "The show then continued at the Westside Theatre with an open-ended commercial run" has a citation tag
  • I think I have resolved this.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 16:59, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• "By the end of 2010, the play had been staged in New York, Los Angeles, Toronto and Buenos Aires and was scheduled to play in Australia (at the Sydney Opera House), France, Mexico, Brazil, Germany, Scandinavia and the Philippines.[10] " What do mean "was scheduled"? Did the play operate in those countries the following year?
  • Unable to confirm Mexico, Brazil, Germany and Scandinavia.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 21:00, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• The plot section might better suited earlier in the article (before production info). I noticed you kept mentioned "Gingy", and had no idea who what was. The plot would help clarify this.
  • Rearranged.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 15:33, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• Are the reviews reviewing specific shows (i.e. with different casts)? Or just the overall play script? If the former, indicate this (the section may need to be reorganized)
  • Some LA, some NY.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 15:50, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• "This scene is sometimes performed as alone outside of the theatre.[35]" I think a word can be removed in there
  • Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 15:51, 23 October 2011 (UTC)
• Make sure you use two sets of quotation marks (" and ') when direct quoting (i.e. "I loved 'Love, Loss, and What I Wore' very much.")
  • I just switched LLAWIW to italics inside. With the code format you have to choose between italics and single quote because three single quotes is bold while two is italics.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 15:55, 23 October 2011 (UTC)

• Still missed some: "While Reiner says, "There's an amusing "I hate my purse" segment",[9]". Look carefully for others (mainly in reception section I believe) Ruby comment! 01:59, 24 October 2011 (UTC)

• Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 03:41, 24 October 2011 (UTC)

I believe these issues can be addressed within seven days. Placing on hold Ruby comment! 06:00, 23 October 2011 (UTC)

All but a few of the issues have been addressed. These few I'm not happy about (still think the author should have first name in article body, etc), but I think they're minor enough not to argue over. Pass for GA. Ruby comment! 04:39, 24 October 2011 (UTC)