Talk:Larry Geraty/GA1

Latest comment: 12 years ago by BelloWello in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Eisfbnore talk 10:24, 12 May 2011 (UTC)Reply

  • State in the lead where the La Sierra University is.
  • The lead is generally a bit short, please extend it with one sentence or two.
  • The two last sentences in the lead are a bit peacocky, please state what fields he's been a professor in, and who have recognized him as an "active community leader". Also, I'm not quite sure if the line In addition to his role at La Sierra University… is really useful.
  • There is a bit of close paraphrasing in the section Family and early life. Compare With his family, he lived in China, Burma, Hong Kong, Lebanon, England, Germany, France, Israel, California, Maryland, Michigan and Massachusetts. with the source text As a child he traveled with his missionary family who lived and worked in China, Burma, Hong Kong, Lebanon, England, Germany, France, Israel, California, Maryland, Michigan and Massachusetts. Also note that the sentence jumps from listing contries to listing US states.
  • The last sentence in the same section is a one-liner, which are usually not acceptable. Please split the first para immidiatly after His father, T.S. Geraty, worked as an educator and missionary and merge it with the one-liner.
  • In the late 1950s, not in the late 50's.
  • He then went to Pacific Union College for his undergraduate degree in theology, which he received in 1962 – When? Perhaps I am being unkind—as I can read that from the previous section—, but please state it in the sentence, since it's in a new section.
  • Be consistent in whether you include commas after "By/From/In/On [year]".
  • "received" is more formal and encyclopedic than "got".
  • "Awards and Recognition" is not a proper noun (the section header)
  • Is the above section list to be completed? If it is completed, then remove the {{expand list}} note from below the header.
  • Use endashes to separate years. (2002–2005, not 2002-2005 for example)
  • "Authored Works" is not a proper noun. Perhaps rename the section to "Publications"?
  • Book titles should be in italics.
  • Is it really necessary to include page numbers/page count and Hardcover/Paperback information in the list of works?
  • Dr. Geraty was President of the now defunct… – "President" is in this context not a proper noun, and should thus be decapitalized.


Citation comments
  • Citations like "SDA Yearbook, 1967, pp. 14, 15, 394" and "1977 Yearbook, p. 58" are not complete. Please give them more information, like editor, publisher, etc.
  • Don't use bare URLs for the citations
  • The external links section is a linkfarm. If I'd have a guess, I'd say that most, if not all of the ext links could be used as citations. IIRC, PDF's are also inappropriate as external links.
  • For accessibility reasons, it should be marked somehow that the PDF urls are, well, PDFs.   You can do that by adding |format=PDF to the citations formatted with templates and with {{PDFlink}} for those written out by hand (the external links for example).

Placing on hold. --Eisfbnore talk 10:24, 12 May 2011 (UTC)Reply

Thank you, Eisfbnore for the review. I believe I have taken care of the main text issues, if you don't mind taking a look? We'll deal with the citations in a bit. bW 19:05, 12 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
Please take another look. :) I think that got most of what is outlined above. bW 02:20, 13 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
Yes, most of the issues i've raised have been fix, but you'll have to fix all of them in order to make this a GA.   I've striken the comments that have been resolved, so that you easily can see which are left. Thanks for the quick action and response. Eisfbnore talk 07:45, 13 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
So, just to confirm: the issue is with citation nine, correct? Citation two also does not use a template, but it would be hard to put that neatly into a template (unless you have suggestions for that?)bW 08:49, 13 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
Yes, and also # 13 and # 26. I took the liberty to remove the two non-PDF urls from ref 2 (they were dead) and format the entire citation with {{cite web}}. Maybe that was wrong (I was lingering between using {{cite web}} and {{cite journal}}), so feel free to amend the citation in any way you would feel appropriate. Also, remember my bulleted comment #11. Eisfbnore talk 10:42, 13 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
Everything is done except fixing citation nine. I can't open the format of file its in. Hopefully Donald will come online and can maybe take care of it, unless you can open the djvu file? bW 11:04, 13 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
No, I can't open the file on my laptop. Perhaps I'll try at my home computer later on. Also, remember to add retrieval dates for online sources and standardize upon one date format style. Currently, some publication/retrival dates use DD-MM-YYYY, some MM-DD-YYYY, some are written in full and some are not. Eisfbnore talk 11:24, 13 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
I found a PDF version. I believe we are all set now. :) bW 20:58, 14 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
Thanks. Also have a look at my comment about date format standardization in the previous post. Cheers. --Eisfbnore talk 08:25, 15 May 2011 (UTC)Reply
  Done bW 17:48, 15 May 2011 (UTC)Reply