Talk:Kingston Lacy/GA1

Latest comment: 7 years ago by Dr. Blofeld in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 20:38, 25 August 2016 (UTC)Reply


Will review tomorrow morning Cwmhiraeth, ♦ Dr. Blofeld 20:26, 26 August 2016 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for taking on this review. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 08:20, 27 August 2016 (UTC)Reply
Lede
  • I don't think you need "substantial".
  • "It was the family seat of the Bankes family, who had previously resided nearby at Corfe Castle until its destruction in the English Civil War after its incumbent owners, Sir John Bankes and Dame Mary, remained loyal to Charles I." -a bit of a mouthful, the "after" part doesn't flow well, perhaps split/copyedit a bit.
  • "The gardens and parkland were laid down at the same time" -by Pratt too?
I don't know. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:23, 28 August 2016 (UTC)Reply
Background
  • "By the 16th century the house was in ruins. In 1603 King James I gave the lands to Sir Charles Blount, whose son in 1636 sold the estate to Sir John Bankes, who had been appointed attorney general to King Charles I in 1634." -"whose" and "who" makes it jar a little. I'd split it a bit/copyedit
  • "Although deprived of their castle, the Bankes family still owned some 8,000 acres (3,200 ha) of the surrounding Dorset countryside and coastline,[1] and the local villagers used the handy supply of stone to rebuild their own residences.[4]" -the latter part of the sentence is unrelated so should probably be split.
  • I would reorganize the sections, Make background history, merge in History further down and then change "The House" to "Architecture"
The house
  • "Like that house, the hall is two storeys high, but in this case, the great stair has been moved out of the main hall and is no longer at the centre of the house." -need sa copyedit, try something like " Like that house, the hall is two storeys high, though its great stair as been removed from the main hall in the centre of the house"
  • "Pratt's original plans have been lost, but he did leave extensive notes on his thinking, and his design is clear." -rep of "he and "his" -
  • What is a "pergolo"?
I don't know. Removed. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:23, 28 August 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • "whist"?
  • "Sited centrally within the 164 hectares (410 acres) grounds, externally the new house was provided with 5 hectares (12 acres) of formal gardens and pleasure grounds, some of which were enclosed by walls, while a series of formal avenues radiated throughout the surrounding 159 hectares (390 acres) of park lands." - a bit of a mouthful, can you rephrase?
History
  • "Bankes often entertained his friends William Pitt the Younger and the Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington at the house.[1]

His son, "

  • Change His to Bankes's as he wasn't the last person mentioned above it
  • "which was now to be formally known" -awkward tense
Gardens
  • "The formal gardens and pleasure grounds are situated close to the house, with an area of informal pleasure grounds" -rep of "pleasure grounds"

Fill out ref 12.

@Cwmhiraeth: Review done, await your response, cheers.♦ Dr. Blofeld 08:41, 28 August 2016 (UTC)Reply

I have made the changes you suggest above. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:23, 28 August 2016 (UTC)Reply


GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  
    B. MoS compliance:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:  
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:  
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:  
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  Dr. Blofeld 13:37, 28 August 2016 (UTC)Reply