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Talk:John Shurna/GA1

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Latest comment: 12 years ago by Resolute in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Latest comment: 12 years ago18 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Resolute (talk · contribs) 20:15, 25 March 2012 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Comments & concerns edit

General
  • Images good
  • Sources look good
High school
  • This entire section is written in an awkward format. It starts with his senior year, then moves to junior then back to senior. Some reorganization would be helpful.
  • "Shurna a 2007 and 2008 Chicago Tribune All-State boys basketball team special mention selection." - Missing word?
  • "May 11, he committed to Northwestern University..." - Fragmented statement. Consider reversing. "He committed to Northwestern University on May 11, but..."
  • "As a senior, he finished 8th in the Illinois Mr. Basketball voting, but Iman Shumpert of Oak Park High School from the same conference finished fourth." - Why do we care that someone else finished fourth? Also, why do we care that Oak Park is in the same conference as Shurna's school?
College
  • Note (and cite) in the prose under his freshman season that his team won the U19 world championship.
  • In his junior season section, you use the short form name of the Wooden and Naismith awards, then in the senior, you use the long form names. I would suggest reversing that, using the full name the first time around, and the short name the second. Also, no need to link both twice.
  • "When Shurna scored 37 points on November 17 against LSU it marked a career-high and tied for the most points scored by a Northwestern player during the 12-year Bill Carmody era." - Close paraphrasing of the source. Please reword.
  • A lot of awkward sentences due to overuse of commas. It leaves the text rather jerky. The second paragraph of the Junior section really stood out. As an example, I would probably rewrite the paragraph as follows:
    • "Shurna submitted the paperwork to declare for the 2011 NBA Draft following the season, though he did not hire an agent. He withdrew his name prior to the May 8 deadline and chose to return for his senior year. He was one of 20 players who tried out to represent USA Basketball at the 2011 Summer Universaide, but did not make the team. (Note also that I removed some redundancies, such as the fact that he was returning to Northwestern (duh), and it stands to reason that he'd try out for a summer tournament in the summer)
  • It would help to know why Shurna withdrew from the draft. The ESPN story does explain his reasoning.
    • If the source does not say, it is not up to me to summarize that which is not present. Generally, players attempt to determine the likelihood that they will be drafted in some range (For some players it might be top 5; for others it might be lottery, which is top 14, I believe, for others it is first round and for others just be drafted at all). If the source does not say, he probably did not say. Most people just go back to college and try to improve their position. There is not likely any more detail in the publice domain on this issue.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 01:54, 28 March 2012 (UTC)Reply
    • Also, many people were leary about how long the lockout would last if it in fact came to pass as it did.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 02:01, 28 March 2012 (UTC)Reply
      • Fair enough. I thought the article mentioned he felt he learned some things he needed to work on and felt returning to Northwestern was the best option. But you are right, anything speculatory should not be added. Resolute 02:21, 28 March 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • Given Shurna broke career and single season that stood for 25- and 40-years, I think it would help to note that. It would put the significance of his accomplishments into perspective.
  • Since Shurna is obviously going to be in this year's draft, has there been any talk on where he is expected to go? It is actually rather odd that there is a detailed infobox on his recruiting rankings (which at four years old, aren't especially relevant anymore) but nothing on his draft ranking.
    • I never include the speculation on where players may be drafted. Between football and basketball, I have been the main editor for a lot of expectant draftees.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR) 07:21, 28 March 2012 (UTC)Reply
Personal
Overall

Article is in good shape overall, but there are a few areas that could use some rewording and expansion. Placing on hold pending the resolution of these concerns. Regards, Resolute 20:15, 25 March 2012 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for quick responses. I am now satisfied that this is a good article, though a bit more on personal history would still be nice. Family details and the like. However, it won't hold up my passing of this article. Congrats, Resolute 00:37, 30 March 2012 (UTC)Reply
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