Talk:John C. H. Lee/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Hawkeye7 in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 13:22, 29 April 2018 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- Petty, and won't hold up promotion, but pick use of the serial comma, or not. Don't switch between. (see "when he became District Engineer of the Washington District, in charge of Potomac River watershed, northwestern Chesapeake Bay, and the Washington, D.C., water supply." and, earlier "Panama Canal Zone, Guam and the Philippines")
- You link to United States Military Academy at West Point. However, West Point redirects to the first link. Remove the West point link, or change to United States Military Academy at West Point.
- "He then directed various districts around Washington, D.C., and Philadelphia," are these still flood districts? clarify if not.
- Link to Attack on Pearl Harbor on first mention. I'd also like to see a link to European Theater of Operations, United States Army.
- does his high school have a name? if so, please add and (if possible) link.
- Is it normal to have "as discussed below" in a Wikipedia article? I'd recommend removal.
- Where is Wheeling. Link?
- How much time did he spend in Detroit? is there a time span?
- "he Panama Canal Zone in May 1910, after which he was posted to Rock Island, Illinois, in May 1910," I see that both happened in May 1910. Is there a time frame for how long he was in Panama?
- "which was being deployed to Texas City, Texas on the Mexican Border due to the Mexican Revolution." perhaps say "as a result of the Mexican Revolution" or "in response to the Mexican Revolution."
- "December 1914, to June 1915" is the comma necessary?
- "United States formally became at war with Germany." saying became at war is a bit clunky, perhaps change to "formally declared war on Germany"
- "Lee was disappointed at the failure of Wood's quest for the Republican nomination in the 1920 presidential election," change linking to "Lee was disappointed at the failure of Wood's quest for the Republican nomination...
- Is the right United Congress linked? perhaps you mean United States congress?
- "The headquarters of the Mississippi River Commission moved from St Louis to Vicksburg, where it was located at the centre of the flood area but well above the level of the river. " is there a year for this?
- Did Marshall give a reason for telling Lee to train a replacement?
- "had commanding the Pacific Ports of Embarkation," perhaps you meant "had commanded the Pacific Ports of Embarkation," or "was commanding the Pacific Ports of Embarkation,"?
- What is the criticism mentioned in the quote?
- Fortunately, some lessons had been learned from 1942." is it acceptable to say fortunately? See WP:EDITORIAL
- "who source to place logistical functions under his command." Should it be "who sought to place logistical functions under his command.
- "courts martial earlier in his career." perhaps add a mention of this earlier in the article.
- "While the logistical arrangements for D-Day proceeded well, although nobody congratulated Lee on the achievement." Also be careful here about editorializing. I am sure that somebody congratulated him somewhere. Also, it reads like a sentence fragment.
- That's it. Eddie891 Talk Work 23:27, 4 May 2018 (UTC)
- a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- Sources do not need to be repeated in the same paragraph ( i.e. 17 in the first para of Retirement and honors, 17 in first para of post war career, and 4 in the third para of Early military engineer career.)
- The General who Wore Six Stars cites Wikipedia. concerned about reliability.Eddie891 Talk Work 23:33, 4 May 2018 (UTC)
- a (reference section):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
