Talk:Islands (miniseries)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: 1989 (talk · contribs) 15:58, 11 June 2017 (UTC)

This discussion has been closed. Please do not modify it.
The following discussion has been closed. Please do not modify it.
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): "finally encounters it however" Remove the last word. "leading Finn to wanting to discover" Doesn't sound right. "who stow away" You mean stows? "but Finn and Susan are able to fight them." Did they "fight" the jellyfish or tried to get them off Jake? "After Jake complains" I'd replace the first word. "Later Finn, Alva and her pet bear encounter" I would restructure this part. "She approaches Dr. Gross if they can live off the island." Doesn't sound right. "But now that Finn" Not the best word to start a sentence. "for parts unknown" How about 'for unknown reasons'? In regards to the entire "Plot" section, I have fixed the above errors and copy-edited the section. Here are the changes--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:51, 11 June 2017 (UTC) "Minerva, Laraine Newman" Missing a word. Done.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:51, 11 June 2017 (UTC) "Root reprise their roles" Say the full name. I'm not really sure what you mean here.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:51, 11 June 2017 (UTC) Mistake on my part. "and so the robot returns to Finn" Remove and. "and so she approaches" Remove and. "Dr. Gross, however, convinces her" However isn't needed. "Kara stops Frieda from leaving and drags her away crying." Was she controlled at that time? "Flashbacks detail how Minerva, a nurse, met Finn's father Martin Mertins when he was hospitalized after it was mistakenly believed he was attempting to leave the island with a group of escapees." So that moment caused the flashbacks to happen? "Now that Finn is here with her, however, she expresses" Doesn't sound right. "first place. ... What" Do you mean [...]? It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): "in early November 2016, ComiXology" Ref 6 didn't say anything about the publisher. Whoops; wrong source. Fixed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:51, 11 June 2017 (UTC) "on December 9, Cartoon Network" If the art crew released the statement on their Tumblr, I don't think it'd be on CN's behalf. Rewritten to clearly express it was released via the crew Tumblr.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:51, 11 June 2017 (UTC) The Blumenfeld quote is too long, I recommend removing some things, and keeping what's important. I have trimmed it by a sentence or two.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:51, 11 June 2017 (UTC) Per [1], you're going to have to make it shorter, or paraphrase what you kept. Some references link to social networking sites, but since I was able to confirm that they are associated with Cartoon Network and AT staff, I'll accept it in good faith. It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions): Overall: Pass/Fail: Good work on the article. When you resolve or provide explanations to my concerns, I'll look it over. -- 1989 15:58, 11 June 2017 (UTC) @1989: Thank you for the review. I have responded to and/or complied with your requests. How does it look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:51, 11 June 2017 (UTC) @Gen. Quon: Replies are above. -- 1989 20:02, 11 June 2017 (UTC) @1989: Prose changes have been made and I deleted one more sentence from the long quote (the quote in question is now only three sentences, which is well within the acceptability range of almost all manual of styles).--Gen. Quon (Talk) 13:12, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

• Thanks for getting my concerns fixed. I can now pass the article. Congratulations. -- 1989 13:45, 12 June 2017 (UTC)