Talk:Ishaq Dar/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Saqib in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Cambalachero (talk · contribs) 14:51, 16 June 2017 (UTC)Reply


Image review
File:Ishaq Dar 1.jpg is the only image in the article, and has a good license. No problems.
Text
Some google searches only reveal matches from Wikipedia mirrors that reflect this article, so no copyright violation was found.
Early life and education
  • Is there no info about his parents? When and where was he born?
I couldn't found credible information about his parents, and his birth year and location.
  • He should be called by full name in the first non-lead section.
Done, but I don't see this style in bios of FA status.
Professional career
  • Why is it written that he "Reportedly" held those offices? Is there any doubt or uncertainty about that?
Yes, you are right. does "Reportedly" term allowed in GA status articles?
Political career
  • "He was re-elected to the National Assembly for the second time" is redundant: re-elected means precisely being elected for the same office a second time.
So what else it should be? He was elected to National Assembly twice from the same constituency so one say that he was re-elected for the same office a second time. No? Similarly, he was elected to Senate thrice.
Simply remove the "for the second time" bit, and that's it. Cambalachero (talk) 15:40, 16 June 2017 (UTC)Reply
Ok I got it. and what about "for the third time to the Senate"? --Saqib (talk) 15:44, 16 June 2017 (UTC)Reply
Done.
  • Is "nosedived" an appropriate word? Perhaps you may use "plummeted".
Done
  • Many paragraphs are too short, you should combine them into bigger ones.
Done.

@Cambalachero:. please see above answers inline. --Saqib (talk) 15:19, 16 June 2017 (UTC)Reply

@Cambalachero:. anything else? --Saqib (talk) 19:54, 18 June 2017 (UTC)Reply