Talk:Irene Dunne/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: No Great Shaker (talk · contribs) 15:06, 18 August 2020 (UTC)

Starting review

Hello, MonkeyStolen234. I'll be doing this review and will use the checklist below to register progress. Hope to provide some feedback soon. No Great Shaker (talk) 15:06, 18 August 2020 (UTC)

Criteria

1. Well written: the prose is clear and concise.
2. Well written: the spelling and grammar are correct.
3. Complies with the MOS guidelines for lead sections.
4. Complies with the MOS guidelines for article structure and layout.
5. Complies with the MOS guidelines for words to watch.
6. Complies with the MOS guidelines for writing about fiction – not applicable.
7. Complies with the MOS guidelines for list incorporation.
8. Complies with the MOS guidelines for use of quotations.
9. All statements are verifiable with inline citations provided.
10. All inline citations are from reliable sources, etc.
11. Contains a list of all references in accordance with the layout style guideline.
12. No original research.
13. No copyright violations or plagiarism.
14. Broad in its coverage but within scope and in summary style.
15. Neutral.
16. Stable.
17. Illustrated, if possible.
18. Images are at least fair use and do not breach copyright.

General points

• RPS=27 kB (4,681 words) – no length problems.
• As the comments below illustrate, there are considerable issues with prose, grammar and the use of certain words and expressions so the article fails points #1, #2 and #5 of the criteria.
• The lead needs extensive revision as outlined in the next section. Fails point #3.
• There is inconsistency in the punctuation when quotes are closed. Some sentences have full stop outside quote mark, others have it inside. In GB, the former is standard but I believe the latter is standard in US publishing so that should apply here.
• Far too many direct quotations are used throughout the article and some are taken from dubious or unreliable sources. Fails point #8.
• While there are sufficient citations, some are based on IMDb, YouTube and blogs which cannot be considered reliable. Fails point #10 with implications for point #12 re WP:OR.

Lead

• The DHS post-nominal should follow her name in the lead.
• who appeared in Hollywood films during its golden age → who appeared in films during the Golden Age of Hollywood.
• She is best known for her comedic roles, despite being in films of varied genres, and has been revered as one of the most notorious Academy Award snubs. Words like "revered" and "notorious" don't sit well together and the statement suggests a controversy that Dunne herself did not encourage – like Deborah Kerr later, she graciously accepted that she didn't win. Better to reduce this sentence to: "She is best known for her comedic roles, despite being in films of varied genres". Then, at the end of the second paragraph, add: "She is widely considered one of the best actresses who was never to win an Academy Award" (or words to that effect), which makes the point without WP:UNDUE.
• popular anthology television. Term not explained and not repeated in the narrative, which suggests she used TV for her charity and philanthropic work.
• Dunne spent retirement devoted to philanthropy → Dunne devoted her retirement to philanthropy.
• a delegate for the United States to the United Nations, in which she advocated for world peace, such as highlighting refugee-relief programs → a delegate for the United States to the United Nations, where she advocated world peace and highlighted the need for refugee-relief programs.
• and their daughter, whom they adopted in 1938 → and their daughter Mary Frances, whom they adopted in 1938.
• given the Kennedy Center Honors. The plural here looks incongruous to me but could be normal usage in America. Should it be "given (or awarded) a Kennedy Center Honor"?
• In the present, Dunne is known as one of the greatest actresses who never won an Oscar. Some critics theorize that her performances have been underappreciated and largely forgotten, overshadowed by movie remakes and her better-known co-stars. There is far too much about her not winning an Academy Award and I think these two sentences should be removed as the point has been made (see above) earlier in the lead.
• Dunne fled across the Atlantic Ocean → Dunne once fled across the Atlantic Ocean.
• regal attitude. Not an attitude, more in the way of a manner or persona.
• but the contrasts have been credited for her down-to-earth characters. This doesn't make much sense and needs to be revised.
• Swap the third and fourth paragraphs so that her movie career is covered by the first three paragraphs and her retirement by the last.

Early life

• Okay.

Career

• she took leading role → she took the leading role.
• Supporting roles in musical theater productions followed in the shows The City Chap (1925), Yours Truly (1927) and She's My Baby (1928), as well as a season of light opera in Atlanta, later calling her career beginnings "not great furor", and her first top-billing, leading role Luckee Girl (1928) was not as successful as her previous projects. This sentence is too long and loses sense. Needs to be split with revised wording.
• Somewhere around this era → About this time.
• leading a successful campaign for Cimarron doesn't make sense. What campaign?
• Repetition: "leading" twice in one sentence and "reflected" twice in the next.
• The latter had the best critical acclaim and the melodrama she reportedly did the most preparation for → The latter had the best critical acclaim and was the melodrama she reportedly did the most preparation for.
• The 1934 Sweet Adeline remake and Roberta (1935) was the first two musicals → The 1934 Sweet Adeline remake and Roberta (1935) were the first two musicals.
• Fred and Ginger → Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
• Between this, her movies had given her characters opportunities to sing to an audience. This doesn't make sense. Between what? Were the opportunities not hers?
• Later years of Dunne's film career became diverse. Grammar.
• The sentence beginning She starred in three films is unreadable because of all the brackets and it does not say which films featured Boyer and which featured Grant.
• The sentence beginning She starred in fictionalized dramas needs to be split and revised.
• The sentence beginning The comedy It Grows on Trees is too long and needs to be split.
• Same and more so for the next sentence beginning with However, she made appearances in other media. You cannot bombard readers with "she made", "starring as", "appeared at", "hosted and starred in", "and made", "and made" all in the same sentence. Finally, the sentence ends with "?."
• In the last sentence of this section, does the adjective "anomalous" appear in the source? If not, it should be removed.

Hollywood retirement

• S.S. Carole Lombard → SS Carole Lombard.
• St. John's Hospital Clinc → St. John's Hospital Clinic.

Personal life

• Dunne's father's boat engineering job sparked Dunne's enjoyment of steamboat rides → Dunne's father's boat engineering job sparked her enjoyment of steamboat rides.
• The relationships, religion and death sections are fine.

Legacy

• Citations 154 and 155 are unreliable. IMDb is definitely an unreliable source.
• Despite this, she is not as well-remembered as the other three. This statement is WP:OR, at best an example of WP:RECENTISM, and should be removed. The four named actresses are equally famous in film history.
• Citation 156 is sourced to a blog and is unreliable. All the Jessica Pickens quotes should be removed.
• She dedicated her sense of humor to her late father → She ascribed her sense of humor to her late father.
• Link Joy of Living.

Awards and nominations

• Louise Rainer → Luise Rainer. Spelling.
• Citation 177 cannot be considered a reliable source.
• from Bellarmine College,[159] and received seven... → from Bellarmine College.[159] She received seven... Split into two sentences because of receiving and received.
• link to Order of the Holy Sepulchre.

Filmography, discography & see also sections

• Replace the hyphens in the box office list with endashes.
• Is "Selected discography" a correct title because the section reads as if it is a complete discography?
• Suggest removal of the "See also" section. It adds no value and these things are generally deprecated.

References, FR and EL sections

• Citations 15, 17 & 177 are generating the "Harv error: this link doesn't point to any citation" message.
• The "Irene Dunne interview (1979)" on YouTube should be in the EL section.
• Otherwise, the layout, formatting and content are all looking okay.

Images

• Images are all public domain apart from one which is an editor's own work, so they are fine.
• Expand the caption of the ship launch image to mention Clark Gable and Madalynne Field because of their connections to Carole Lombard.

Stability

• One main editor and no problems.

List incorporation

• The only list per se is the table in the awards section and it seems fine with all items sourced.

Categories

• Apart from Category:Irene Dunne, all need to be sorted into alphabetical order.

Review summary

I'm placing the review on hold for seven days because a lot of work is needed to bring the article up to standard. It was very close to immediate failure because it is well short of meeting WP:GACR#1 but, on balance, I think the issues should be resolved within a week. Glad to answer any questions in the meantime. No Great Shaker (talk) 14:25, 19 August 2020 (UTC)

Career

Hi, @No Great Shaker: I did a huge update with the Career section and I would like to see whether there was anything else to improve there before the deadline. Some of the critiques and suggestions you gave led to more citations and sentence rewrites. Thank you. —MonkeyStolen234 (talk) 10:36, 23 August 2020 (UTC)

Hello, MonkeyStolen234. I've noticed on the watchlist that you've been doing a lot of work so please forget about deadlines. I've seen a few of Irene's films and always thought she was a versatile actress – can't say I knew anything about her life outside the movies, though, but she certainly kept herself active. Leave it with me again for now and I'll try to get back to you soon. All the best and keep safe. No Great Shaker (talk) 11:57, 23 August 2020 (UTC)

Back again. That section is fine. I just made a couple of small changes but, as far as I'm concerned, the career section ticks all the boxes now. I'm happy to leave it with you again to look at the other sections. If you want me to help, just give me a shout. All the best. No Great Shaker (talk) 12:12, 23 August 2020 (UTC)

Hi, No Great Shaker: I think the deadline reached for the final review. —MonkeyStolen234 (talk) 10:58, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Hello again, MonkeyStolen234. As I said above, don't worry about deadlines. I'll start another review but let me know if you need a bit more time to complete anything. You're probably nearly there given that the career section already passed. All the best. No Great Shaker (talk) 11:06, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Result

Reviewed again and this time I'm happy to promote. Well done. No Great Shaker (talk) 14:56, 30 August 2020 (UTC)

Thank you for your help. Have a great day. —MonkeyStolen234 (talk) 15:18, 30 August 2020 (UTC)