Talk:Hompesch Hussars/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by J-Man11 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:03, 18 September 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- Was the Baron of Hompesch the same as Ferdinand von Hompesch zu Bolheim? If so, could link?
- "British foreign corps" is that a formal title of a group of people? Is there an article?
- "and would be disbanded" and was
- "and would serve until" and served
- "Uniform variations ..." fragment, no full stop.
- The allegiance of the Hussars could be mentioned in the lead.
- "In Spring 1794" avoid seasons, but if you must, why is this capitlaised?
- "Charles, Freiherr von Hompesch signed" -> "Charles, Freiherr von Hompesch, signed".
- "legion, later known as Hompesch's Legion. The new legion" legion, Legion, legion. Repetitive.
- "of the following: 1 x Hussar" why not just "of one Hussar..."?
- "formed, with its mounted element become the" perhaps "and with... became the..."?
- "red hussar cap" link hussar.
- "a fortnight (2 x weeks), " just say "In two weeks"
- "Osnabrück ordered" comma before "ordered".
- "On 14th September 1794" 14 not 14th.
- "with 2 x squadrons" etc, avoid this 2 x midprose, and stick with plain English, like "two".
- "On the 15th, the" either "On 15 September" or perhaps "The following day..."
- "lost their 4 guns" four.
- "the 1st December 1794" by 1 December 1794.
- "based in Flanders and " overlinked.
- "which would be known" become?
- No point in red-linked See also articles.
- Especially ones which are already red-linked in the article.
- Refs 1, 2 and 4 needs en-dash in year range.
- "period, 1792-1815. London" likewise.
That's it for a first read. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 10:26, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
- Finished edits, check my sandbox for comments. J-Man11 (talk) 02:24, 26 September 2021 (UTC)
- J-Man11 Please keep review comments/responses in this GAN, not in your sandbox. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 07:58, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- Will do, I'll copy them over now. J-Man11 (talk) 12:51, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
- J-Man11 Please keep review comments/responses in this GAN, not in your sandbox. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 07:58, 27 September 2021 (UTC)
Was the Baron of Hompesch the same as Ferdinand von Hompesch zu Bolheim? If so, could link?- No, different Hompesch, the one who raised the regiment was a Baron and first name was Charles, not Ferdinand. Possibly related?
"British foreign corps" is that a formal title of a group of people? Is there an article?"and would be disbanded" and was"and would serve until" and served- "Uniform variations ..." fragment, no full stop.
- What needs to be changed?
The allegiance of the Hussars could be mentioned in the lead."In Spring 1794" avoid seasons, but if you must, why is this capitlaised?"Charles, Freiherr von Hompesch signed" -> "Charles, Freiherr von Hompesch, signed"."legion, later known as Hompesch's Legion. The new legion" legion, Legion, legion. Repetitive."of the following: 1 x Hussar" why not just "of one Hussar..."?"formed, with its mounted element become the" perhaps "and with... became the..."?"red hussar cap" link hussar."a fortnight (2 x weeks), " just say "In two weeks""Osnabrück ordered" comma before "ordered"."On 14th September 1794" 14 not 14th."with 2 x squadrons" etc, avoid this 2 x midprose, and stick with plain English, like "two"."On the 15th, the" either "On 15 September" or perhaps "The following day...""lost their 4 guns" four."the 1st December 1794" by 1 December 1794."based in Flanders and " overlinked."which would be known" become?No point in red-linked See also articles.Especially ones which are already red-linked in the article.Refs 1, 2 and 4 needs en-dash in year range."period, 1792-1815. London" likewise.
All completed, check comment J-Man11 (talk) 12:56, 27 September 2021 (UTC)