Talk:Harry Laurent/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk · contribs) 18:48, 22 April 2018 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it well written?

   A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

   Some issues; see below

   B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:

2. Is it verifiable with no original research?

   A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

   B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:

   C. It contains no original research:

   D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

   Some minor issues (see below)

   B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):

4. Is it neutral?

   It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:

5. Is it stable?

   It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Comments

• I'd normally expect the lead to mention that his service with the NZEF was in the Great War

• Revised lead. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• "He also served with the Territorial Force" - The link here goes to the wrong article, on the British version

• Points to NZ equivalent now. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• "The Rifle Brigade as part of the newly formed New Zealand Division" was part.

• Fixed. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• However, that wasn't the case; it formed part of the New Zealand Division when it was formed in February 1916

• Have rephrased, added a cite as well as I realised it wasn't supported by original cite. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• Footnote 6: Are you sure that this covers both his actions and the history of the VC?

• Good catch there. Fixed. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• "A few months later, his service in the NZEF ceased and he returned to New Zealand" Are you sure about this? Australians' service was usually terminated after they returned to Australia.

• Went back and revisited, in conjunction with your comment below. Looks like I got timings and sources mixed up so have revised this section. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• Are you sure he returned with John Grant in October 1919? Because the local paper claimed he returned on 8 July 1919.

• Revised as per previous comment. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

• I don't tend to think of Columbarium walls as being graves

• Revised photo caption, also infobox. Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

All looks good. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:48, 22 April 2018 (UTC)

@Hawkeye7: Thanks for the review, you picked up a couple of real howlers. I believe I have addressed the issues raised. Thanks again. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:55, 23 April 2018 (UTC)

Passing now. Disappointed you didn't add the additional facts from the newspaper source. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:43, 23 April 2018 (UTC)