Talk:Francis X. Talbot/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Ergo Sum in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 11:28, 14 February 2020 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • "entering the publishing world" feels a little whimsical, why not just "entering publishing" or is to break up the ..ing ...ing?
    • Yes, it was mostly aesthetic. I've rephrased to your recommendation, though. Ergo Sum 21:14, 17 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "of which he became its " just "the" instead of "its" as you have "of which" already.
  • "previewed movies for the National Legion of Decency, and supported Franco's rule in Spain" these seem to be completely unrelated (to my ignorant self) and the sentence does go on a little, so perhaps split after Decency?
  • "Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to" comma after Pennsylvania.
  • I don't think "fiction" needs linking. If there was a more specific link, like Catholic fiction then perhaps that would be useful.
  • "In 1982, he founded" he was dead...
    • Accidentally transposed the digits. Ergo Sum 21:19, 17 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • Literary career section has eight "also"s perhaps needs a bit of variety in there?
  • I would expect to see ex officio in italics.
  • "until 1947. At the same time, during World War II' just reads a little odd, three consecutive timeframes...
    • Rearranged the sentences. Ergo Sum 21:22, 17 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
  • "on July 26, 1947 by " comma after 1947.
  • "in Annapolis, Maryland from " comma after Maryland.
  • "of Jesus,. New York:" spare comma here, could be recycled for the comment above...!
  • Is there a space between quote marks in the last Writings bullet?
    • Yes, it appears the template inserts a space between two quotation marks. Ergo Sum 21:24, 17 February 2020 (UTC)Reply

That's all I have. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Staying alive since 2005!) 14:23, 17 February 2020 (UTC)Reply

@The Rambling Man: Thanks, as always, for your review. Much appreciated. Ergo Sum 21:25, 17 February 2020 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.