Talk:Fantasy (Mariah Carey song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Adabow (talk · contribs) 05:21, 16 November 2010 (UTC)

I suppose with a song every two days, someone had better get reviewing :D... Adabow (talk · contribs) 05:21, 16 November 2010 (UTC)

Hahahahah You're the best Adabow! :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 05:46, 16 November 2010 (UTC)

Passed now! Adabow (talk · contribs) 02:23, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

Lead

• When you use an acronym (O.D.B.) you need to indicate this the this time you use it

• You mention Ol' Dirty Bastard in first paragraph - use indicate O.D.B. here first. Adabow (talk · contribs) 01:13, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

• • Done--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:52, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
• Oh, and you haven't mentioned the cover art in the body of the article Adabow (talk · contribs) 06:24, 16 November 2010 (UTC)
  • Done its in the "Background" section--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:52, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
    • I still can't see it... Adabow (talk · contribs) 02:02, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

Background

• Link contemporary R&B and hip-hop
• "Soon after, Carey presented Dave Hall with the demo, and began working on the song." - rewrite
• "Afterwards, Carey gave then husband and head of Columbia, Tommy Mottola the rough demo, only to find he too was very happy with the song." - rewrite

Composition

• More linking, please
• Shouldn't 'G ♭ major' link to G-flat major?

Critical reception

• first word is missing closing quote mark
• ..."with "Fantasy," Ms. Carey glides... → ..."with 'Fantasy', Ms. Carey glides...
  • Can't I was told to never alter a direct quote.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:53, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
    • Minimal change to quotes is fine. See MOS:QUOTE#Quotations_within_quotations. Adabow (talk · contribs) 02:01, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
• There have got to be more reviews. I won't hold the GAN up for this, but before you send this to FAC go to the library and look through some old magazines and newspapers
  • I really haven't been ale to find. As I told you, its to my benefit to have more, its not like I'm lazy.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:53, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
    • Lol wasn't saying that. Just thought you mightn't have thought of offline sources. Adabow (talk · contribs) 02:01, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

Chart performance

• "It was also ranked at number fifteen on the Hot 100 decade-end charts." → It was also ranked at number fifteen on the Hot 100 decade-end chart for the 1990s.
  • Done--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:56, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
• "In Canada, the song debuted on the RPM Singles Chart..." then later: "In Canada, "Fantasy" peaked at number one and remained at the top of the Canadian Singles Chart" - explain why there are two charts, and don't use "In Canada..." twice

You have RPM chart here, and CSC in 'Charts' section

• • Done
• Citation for Euro charts?
  • Removed was there from before. Just never removed it.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:56, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
• "It peaked within the top-five in Belgium (Wallonia), Finland, France (silver) and the United Kingdom (silver); and in the top-ten in Belgium (Flander), The Netherlands, Ireland, Norway and Switzerland." - you could merge this with the statement about Euro charts. Rewrite with less use of brackets, and link to the charts. Oh, and Flander is Flanders :)
  • Done :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:56, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

Music video

• "the video begins with Carey exploring an amusement park (Playland, located in Rye, New York)..." - take these details out of the brackets, maybe, 'Filmed in Playland, Rye, the video begins with Carey exploring an amusement park, on roller blades and riding on a roller coaster.'
• 'allot' should be 'a lot'
• Link 'clown'
• The remix is mentioned here, so maybe the 'Remixes' section should come before it?
  • Done--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:56, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

Remixes

• '"Genius of Love" sample were emphasized & the bridge...' don't use a '&'
  • Done--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:56, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
• "There is a version.....There is a version..." - mix it up a bit
  • Done--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:56, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
    • Still says 'There is a version omitting Ol' Dirty Bastard's verses.[21] There is another version of this remix called the "Bad Boy Fantasy Remix"'
• "The remix garnered positive reviews" - which remix?
• "Additionally, he went to proclaim the song "her best" writing "At her best,..." - seems awkward. Maybe you could remove the quote marks around "her best"? Commas needed after 'her best' and 'writing'
• Link Donna Summer and Vicki Sue Robinson

Live performances

• Link 23rd Annual American Music Awards
• Italicise Top of the Pops

Formats and track listings

• Sources?
• You could also {{col-2}} these
  • Done--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:57, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

Charts

• Links?
• <sPick either succession boxes or 'See also' links. Not both
  • I took off the link in the succession box so they are both not present.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:57, 17 November 2010 (UTC)
    • You need to have either all succession boxes and no see alsos, or no succ boxes and all see alsos

References

• Ref 7 has a syntax error
• Allmusic, Ultratop and The Irish Charts don't need italics

That's it, on hold now; good luck!

All Done! :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:07, 17 November 2010 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.