Talk:Dust My Broom/GA1
Latest comment: 10 years ago by Ojorojo in topic GA Review
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 10:43, 13 March 2014 (UTC) Comments
- Lead is too short. A single paragraph of four sentences is not an adequate summary of the whole article.
- Link "blues standard".
- Where is 034575 referenced?
- " It has been suggested that" by whom?
- I guess that text like "(Melotone M12812, January 8, 1933)" means "Record label, recording number, recording date", but it's not clear to non-expert readers.
- No need to keep repeating "Robert" with regard to "Robert Johnson" unless that "Johnson" is ambiguous.
- "The last verse shows Johnson's unusual use of geographical references,..." etc is unreferenced, is this your opinion?
- " during his first session on" first session of what?
- "E-B-E-A-C♯-E[12]" would have thought those notes should be separated by {{endash}} rather than hyphen.
- "In 1970, the song was included.." not referenced.
- "where by one account he " ->do you mean "where, by one account, he "?
- "late 1962 " normally hyphenated?
- "Other recordings by notable artists" you mean by "artists considered notable by Wikipedia"? Would avoid the use of "notable" in section headings. Other recordings is fine, you don't claim to have a comprehensive list of covers, nor should you.
- As this is referenced by a search results URL, can you guarantee that all versions are actually versions of the original song, not just completely different songs with the same title? Especially as the resulting search comes up with 55,592 results....
- Why is Grammy Awards in italics in the references?
- Allmusic -> AllMusic.
Enough from a quick run though, will place the article on hold for a week pending changes per above. The Rambling Man (talk) 14:39, 14 March 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks for picking this up. I don't see any problem addressing your concerns, I'll check them off as I go.—Ojorojo (talk) 16:16, 14 March 2014 (UTC)
- Please let me know when you've finished updating, I note several comments still to be addressed. The Rambling Man (talk) 08:58, 18 March 2014 (UTC)
- Still Allmusic in the refs.
- Suggest you balance up those columns of artists.
- "by Leroy Carr[10][7] and Josh White.[11][4]", " (It Just Won't Write)".[20][12][21] "... refs in numerical order please.
- You call the label Vocalion in the info box but Vocalion Records in the prose, be consistent.
- According to Template:Infobox single#Parameters-Label: "Drop words like "Records" from the end of the label's name (e.g. use Universal rather than Universal Records)" for infoboxes. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)
- "beat per minute." beats?
- Where is "Jewel Records also re-released the original Trumpet recording as a single in 1966 (no. 764)." referenced?
- Check those artists names are precise, e.g. Howlin' Wolf, Ike & Tina Turner etc. Several need correction.
- Where are all the notes referenced, e.g. " Johnny Temple recorded "Lead Pencil Blues" on May 14, 1935 (Vocalion Records no. 03068).", " "Dust My Broom" became available on a bootleg album of Johnson recordings that supplemented the Columbia album." etc?
- Done Many of these now seem to be unnecessary details; added refs for the main ones, removed the rest. —Ojorojo (talk) 17:18, 22 March 2014 (UTC)
Still some way to go. The Rambling Man (talk) 08:50, 22 March 2014 (UTC)
- Ok, promoted. Good work. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:42, 22 March 2014 (UTC)