Talk:Daniel Glattauer (writer)

Latest comment: 7 years ago by AnneSal in topic Peer editing

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Good Job Dana! I had no idea who this person is and you have done a really good job at starting to explain who he is.

Lead Section:

You first section defines the topic of Daniel Glattauer, who he is, what his works are, and what he is known for. In the first section there is several grammatical and sentence structure errors. There's an astrick by his date of birth, I'm not sure if you intend to keep that or if its a reminder for you but remember to remove it. Some words such as "formerly" can be replace instead with "A former columnist..." and "for his previously mentioned novel" you can just simply say "for his novel, Love Virtually." Also make sure to add commas, periods, and other punctuation when needed.

Your lead section does not tell me why exactly Daniel Glattauer is significant or important, if there's any controversies around him, or any work he has done that is extremely significant to Austria or the writing community.

Your lead does hint at the summary of the rest of the article that will be presented, as when you talked about some of his works and accomplishments in writing. It may be a bit harder to summarize doing a specific individual, but maybe in the lead section you can talk more about his style and inspiration that has influenced his career.

Your tone is pretty neutral and "encyclopedic"

Table of Contents:

You table of contents is pretty good, your sections and sub-sections flow in a understanding manner that your audience can follow and ends on a note that lets audience members understanding and also curious to find out more about Glattauer. Just remember grammar.

Sections and Sub-Sections:

All the content in your sections and sub-sections make sense in chronological order. I would say to organize your paragraphs better. They seem to be in bullet point format and is very choppy. You should reorder the sentences, using transitions words, and grammar to make it flow a bit easier to read. Some sentences was confusing about the section with marrying his wife. Did he marry her twenty years later after they first met or have they been married for twenty years? Some sentences about his youth can be condense, when you talked about his private and public writing, you can just say something like, " When he was 16, he started writing love-poems and short stories. Yet in private, he also wrote songs for the guitar."

Some subs-sections I noticed it was just citations, just make sure to add proper information in those sections.

Your citations are apparent throughout and is good.

Your tone is good throughout, very informational.

-Tinia M.

Peer editing

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Hey Dana!

"Following the completion of his studies, Glattauer worked as an editor for Die Presse, a national, daily newspaper, for about three years, before becoming a journalist for Der Standard, a few months after it was founded." This sentence does not need as many commas.

"In 1998 he publishes "Bekennen Sie sich schuldig?", a collection of satirical texts" I think you meant published.

"Since 2009 he is a freelance author, residing in Vienna and the "Waldviertel", the northwestern region of Lower Austria[7] with his wife, Lisi Glattauer and five Indian runner ducks." This sounds little off, maybe "He been a freelance author since 2009", or "Since 2009, Glattauer has been a freelance author in both Vienna and Walkviertel, a norwestern region of Lower Austria, with his wife, Lisi Glattauer, and five Indian runner ducks."

"The 2015 year is named after his most successful novel, "Gut gegen Nordwind - Glattauers Gemischte Sätze."" I don't really understand this, but I think it should be "The year 2015"

I don't know much about grammar and sentence structure, but I think you have a few run-on sentences. Maybe check in with Mrs. Meredith to see about that? I'm not sure.

Good luck!! Anne — Preceding unsigned comment added by AnneSal (talkcontribs) 23:17, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply