Talk:Chapultepec/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MX (talk · contribs) 02:28, 12 October 2017 (UTC)

PLEASE READ BEFORE STARTING: After an issue is addressed, please strike the entire bullet point so I know it is done and can double-check. Thanks!

Review 1: Prose

Hello! I'll be reviewing this article. My review will consist of two parts: (1) prose/grammatical suggestions and (2) reviewing sources for accuracy and if they are reliable. Give me a few days. Thanks again to everyone who worked on this! MX (✉ • ✎) 02:28, 12 October 2017 (UTC)

• Today, the park is divided into three sections – per WP:REALTIME, remove today. Preferably, add the year when the park was divided into three sections, if possible. Make sure that this year is cited in the body paragraphs.

• Lately the government has authorized - same here; perhaps add when the government started doing this.

• only woods in a city with more than 18 million people – “in Mexico City” is fine

• In the former Electricity Museum they are starting to construct buildings instead of plant trees – when?

• The ecological groups want to stop the destruction of the green areas of Chapultepec, and to make a plan to recover the wood removed by the construction of parking lots and buildings. – since when?

Characteristics

• in total just over 686 hectares – use convert template 686 hectares (1,700 acres)

• It is classed as one of the world's great urban parks – great is WP:PEACOCK. How would you rephrase it? Perhaps you mean “largest”?

• They submitted the area for consideration as a World Heritage Site. – when?

First section

• The interior measures 274.03 hectares - 274.03 hectares (677.1 acres)

• with 182 of this – 182 hectares (450 acres)

• Remains of a Toltec altar have been found at the top of the hill, a number of burials and its use was reserved only for Aztec emperors and other elite. – Run-on sentence, please rephrase.

• Castle a floorspace of 10,000m2 – convert using 10,000 square metres (110,000 sq ft)

• The most outstanding of the patios and garden is the Alcázar – WP:WEASEL, please rephrase

• Today, it has 16,000 animals of 270 species – as of when?

• This museum has an area of 44,000m2 – convert template needed

• little over one meter. – convert complete needed

• It measures 1,250m2 and – convert template needed

• Aztec ruler nine meters tall – convert template needed; BTW, which Aztec ruler?

• far fewer due to a past disease epidemic – clarification needed. I do not understand this sentence.

• measuring fifteen meters high, forty in circumference – same here, conversion template needed

• Los Pinos has been the official residence of the presidents of Mexico since 1941 – I thought it said 1940 in the previous paragraphs; which one is it?

Second section

• and measures 160.02 hectares – convert template

• from 2 km to 4 km – conversion template

• One part of this section is dominated by the Feria de Chapultepec – dominated is probably not the best word; consider rephrasing

• In addition, a large number of dead or diseased trees were removed and about 800 new ones planted – when?

Third section

• It has a surface area of 242.9 hectares – convert template

• Tlaxpana aqueduct, which measured three km – convert template

• and 3,908 meters – convert template

History

• The park hosts more than 100 species of this kind of bird, with some reproducing here for the first time in decades. – Unsure what the last part means

• No history for the past 7 years … there must have been something that occurred between 2010 and now.

Overall problems

• There are many instances where the same information is repeated on more than one occasion in different parts of the article, particularly info from the Characteristics section, First section, and History. The Niños Héreos are mentioned multiple times, Los Pinos is mentioned multiple times, part of the park becoming the residence for heads of state is mentioned multiple times, the description of the trees are mentioned multiple times, remains found are mentioned, etc. This needs to be fixed/trimmed down. I'll have to go back and re-read the article. But the original editor(s) should know what I'm talking about. MX (✉ • ✎) 04:26, 13 October 2017 (UTC)

Review 2: Sources

• Fix the names of all the authors in the references. It should read Lastname, Firstname, not Firstname Lastname.

• Please spell out all the acronyms in the sources (i.e. DDM → Diario de México)

• Source 3 is dead. Please replace with this new source: [1] The newspaper changed their URL format and it messed everything up.

• Source 5 is dead. Please replace with this archived source: [2]

• Source 6 is dead (article leads to a blank page). Please replace with this archived source: [3]. The author’s name also needs to be fixed.

• Source 8 is dead. Please replace with this archived source: [4]

• Source 9 is officially dead. No archive exists of it. Please replace it with another, live source.

• Source 10 is dead too. It links to the main page of the website, not to the article in question. Please find an alternative source.

• Source 12 is dead. Please replace with this archived source: [5]

• Source 17 leads nowhere, which means it is dead. Please replace with archived source: [6]

• Source 18 is dead. Please replace with archived source: [7]

I'll be checking for text-source accuracy and posting any issues, if found, below. MX (✉ • ✎) 04:49, 13 October 2017 (UTC)

UPDATE: I will wait till all archives are added before I check the source/text integrity. I worked on the WP:LEAD for now. There are several problems there. First, though leads do not need a source, the information there has to be cited elsewhere per WP:LEADCITE. The sentences I tagged were not found anywhere else, as far as I could tell after reading the intro. There are a few "when?" tags as well that need to be addressed since I suspect the article's info might be outdated. Now, once that is fixed, I want to propose another change. The first paragraph is great and introduces the article with information from the "Characteristics" section. But the second paragraph does not summarize the article well, and per WP:LEAD, it should include a general overview of the rest of the sections. I propose that the second paragraph of the lead covers more on the three sections of the park, and then wraps up with the later sections. MX (✉ • ✎) 14:24, 13 October 2017 (UTC)

• Comment on October 14 Updates - Thank you for adding sources. Please remember that references should be added with full templates (i.e. title, author, publisher, dates, etc.). Not just bare URLs. At the same time, the measurements need the convert template above, see Template:Convert. Manual changes may not be accurate and are strongly discouraged for these updates. MX (✉ • ✎) 14:43, 20 October 2017 (UTC)

Result

After having this nomination opened for a week, I will have to close it as "failed". The issues were not addressed. I didn't get to discussing the title of the article. I believe the article should be titled "Chapultepec Park" as most sources refer to it as that. If this article is ever nominated for GA again, I request to be a second reviewer. MX (✉ • ✎) 13:56, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.